Somewhere Between the Moon and You
by ImprintOnMe
Summary: EmbryxOC. Nila returns to La Push after seven years away. Now as she reunites with old friends and family, she realizes that the attraction to Embry is more than an attraction. What secrets are the people keeping from her, and can she handle the truth?
1. Back Home

**A/N:** Hey everyone, this is my first Twilight fanfiction. I'm a hardcore La Push girl, wolf at heart. I figured Jacob still isn't over Bella so let's give Embry a girl. I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM STEPHENIE'S BRILLIANT MIND. I do own Len, Nila, Tally, and all my other original creations. Okay let me know what you think and if I should continue!

La Push was just like I remembered it: beautiful in all its dreariness. The sun had come out today, unusual for this part of Washington. I hadn't been back in years, but as I began crossing into the town, I felt my heart start to heal again…as much as it could.

This time last week I was sitting in my boarding school in California, waiting to get a call from my father. He was a freelance photographer and he took a job in Thailand. I did get a call, but not from my father. They said the plane went down into the water and that everyone died on impact. I stopped listening after I heard that my father wouldn't be returning, and he'd be gone forever. He's not the first person to leave me, but he, like my Grandmother, is one of the people to physically leave this earth. God I missed him.

I guess tears are a come and go thing. One minute you're fine, then someone could say spaghetti and I'd burst out in tears. My dad loved spaghetti. I was learning to cope, I mean he wasn't around much anyway, but he loved me with everything he had, which is more than I could say about my mother.

She left me with my dad when I was two. She said that "it wasn't me, but she needed time to find herself." She was only 20 at the time so I couldn't blame her…or could I? Anyway, here I am moving back to La Push to move in with my father's father: Grandpa Len Hollis. One of my favorite people in the world, he's one of the elders in the Quileute tribe. Most of my family still lives here or near La Push. I'm 100 Quileute and ready to start over again.

I drove my car towards a nice sized home. As I pulled into the driveway, a tall man with gray hair to his shoulders walked outside. He was beaming and I couldn't help but smile. I parked the car and ran into his arms.

"I missed you so much Grandpa." I said into his shoulder.

"I've missed you too. So much my _Jaci_." My grandpa said to me as he tightened his hug. Jaci (Ja-c) was the nickname he gave me the day I was born. It means moon and he tells me that since the day I was born I became the moon in his pitch black sky.

"So, let me take a look at you." He pulled back from his hold on me and smiled. "You're tall like your father. And you've got my sapphire blue eyes. Your grandmother's smile. You're absolutely stunning Jaci. I bet you'll have all the boys wanting you this summer."

"Grandpa!"

If my skin wasn't the beautiful copper color of my tribe, I'd probably be as red as a rose right now. I mean, I'm not ugly, but I didn't think I was stunning. My dark hair was cut into long layers that fell midway down my back, I was at least five foot eight and my eyes were a deep blue like sapphires. I guess I wasn't much for opinions and didn't care how others saw me. I was me.

"Come on Nila, let's get you settled." My grandpa helped me get all my bags out of the car as we made our way towards our house.

"So, we're going over to Sam Uley and his fiancée Emily's house for dinner. We're gonna have a big barbeque and everyone's going to be there." My grandpa told me as he put the finishing touches on his huge bowl potato salad.

"Awesome! I haven't seen everyone in a long time. Is Tally going?" Tally Sneaux is my cousin and also my best friend.

"Yes, young Chula will be there." Grandpa calls Tally Chula because it means fox, and like a fox she's stealthy and sneaky.

We headed out to the car and made pleasant conversation on our way to Sam's. I was happy that I was living with my grandfather, he probably knew me better than I knew myself.

As we made our way up to the front door, you could hear boys fooling around. I smiled brightly as I waited in anticipation to see all my old friends.

"We're here!" Grandpa Len cried out. People came running towards the door shouting and hollering.

A beautiful woman came and took the bowl from my grandfather giving him a peck on the cheek. She was absolutely stunning, she had scars on her face that looked like she had been scratched by a cat, and it made me sad to think that someone so beautiful was corrupted but such horrors. Still, she was stunning in all her imperfectness.

"This looks delicious as usual Len," she said and turned to face me. "Hello Nila! I'm Emily, Sam's fiancée. We've all heard so much about you, and we're so happy to have you back in La Push."

I smiled, she was so genuine. "I'm happy to be here. I finally feel like my heart is starting to heal again."

Emily gave me a knowing smile and led me towards the backyard where all the people my age were hanging out. I made my hellos to some of the older people, Mrs. Clearwater, Mr. Black, and Sam.

"NILA!" I head my cousin Tally scream as she ran over and gave me a huge hug. "How are you? Oh my God you're gorgeous! Wow! I'm so sorry about everything but I'm so glad you're here!" She gave me a suffocating hug once again.

What could I say about Tally except for she's a big ball of fire. She's naturally high on caffeine and what she lacks in relaxation, makes up for in looks. Tally was shorter than I was, she was only five foot five, but had beautiful curly black hair and hazel eyes that looked cat like. Her copper skin was as smooth as a baby's bottom, and her smile could light up the entire northern sky.

"I'm good, a little tired from the drive, but good! And me, what about you? You're skin is like a baby's ass!" She laughed at that and hugged me again.

"Come on, I want to reintroduce you to everyone. Okay this is Jacob, Jared, Kim, Leah, Seth, and _Paul_." When she said the name Paul I immediately looked up at her. The way she said his name made me realize that this was her Paul, her man. And Paul was looking at her the way Jared was looking at Kim, like she was his whole world.

"Hey everyone!" I smiled and giggled a bit as I noticed Seth playing a little prank on Leah.

Tally turned to face me. "This is sort of everyone, Quil and Embry should be here soon."

"Yea," Jacob started to say "Quil wanted to buy a birthday present for Claire but his car was in the shop so he made Embry take him."

I smiled to myself. "Oh I remember Quil! He and I used to search for fairies down at First Beach." Everyone started to crack up. Quil and I had been good friends before my dad and I decided to move.

"And Embry, oh gosh I can't stand him." Some people gave me quizzical looks, but Tally started laughing. "I used to be scared of the ocean, and he pushed me into it and held my head under the water. His idea of a practical joke." I started to get a little angry but decided that it wasn't worth it, I just wouldn't waste my time talking to Embry.

Everyone started laughing again and began to tell stories about things Embry and Quil had done together. I especially liked the one where Quil dared Embry to dress up like a woman and go into town to buy tampons.

"We're here!" I heard a husky, playful voice yell. I turned around to see a much older and muscular Quil heading towards us. He saw me and his eyes lit up.

"Nila! Is that you?" I nodded and gave him a huge hug.

"How have you been Quil-pen?" He chuckled at his old nickname.

"I've been good, doing good. How about you Niles?"

I smiled. "Well, you know everything that's happened with my dad I assume, but other than that I'm doing okay, trying to get by."

"Yea, I feel ya."

Quil and I turned to talk to everyone else again. We were all chatting and laughing.

"So Quil, I was wondering if maybe later you and I can go fairy hunting down by First Beach." Jared said, and everyone began laughing their butts off.

"Who told you about…..NILA!"

"I'm sorry it just kind of slipped!"

"What slipped?" Said a gorgeous deep husky voice.

"Oh I just told everyone about the time Quil and I went fairy hunting down at First Beach." I replied to the voice.

I turned to see who it was and I found myself staring into the most amazing chocolate brown eyes I have ever seen. I felt like suddenly I had awakened, and the past years of my life were all just a passage of time before this moment. There was a fire burning in my soul and a new electricity running through my heart. I felt like I was being drawn to him, if somehow by gravity.

I didn't know how long we had been staring into each others eyes nor did I know who he was, just that I need to be near him, in his arms forever.

"Nila. Nila! NILA!" I finally snapped out of it and turned my head to see everyone staring at me.

"What?"

"I've been calling your name for the past two minutes." Tally said with a smirk on her face. She was wrapped tightly in Paul's arms and he was smirking at the person next to me.

"Looks like Embry's imprinted." Jared said as he turned his attention to Kim as he gave her a huge passionate kiss.

"Embry?" I asked as I turned my attention to the guy next to me. Low and behold, it was Embry Call in all of his glory. He was stunning to say the least. He stood almost a foot taller than me, and you could easily see the outline of his muscles in his tight white shirt that looked extremely sexy against his copper skin. His hair was cut short and he was staring at me in a familiar way. The same way Paul had looked at Tally, the same was Jared had looked at Kim.

"Nila?" He asked me. I stood frozen unable to answer. I couldn't get my thoughts together. This couldn't be the evil Embry that pushed me into the ocean or played mean tricks on me when we were younger. It just couldn't be…but in my heart I knew it was. And for some reason I was willing to throw everything aside just to be in his arms. I mean people do change, and Embry certainly has changed.

"Yes?" I asked, not realizing I had been staring at him for quite some time.

"You have no idea how ecstatic I am to have you back where you belong." Embry said as he stepped forward and drew me into his arms.

I put my head against his chest as I hugged him back. This moment felt so right, and yet I couldn't help but feel odd hugging this boy who just increased my fear of the ocean. I was confused, but most of all, I had feelings for Embry Call.


	2. Freak Outs and Feelings

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the conventional Twilight characters, only my own creations. ON with the story:  
**

The rest of the night was spent laughing and chatting, catching up with each other mostly

The rest of the night was spent laughing and chatting, catching up with each other mostly. I couldn't help but wonder what "imprint" meant, it seemed like every five minutes someone would bring it up and direct it towards Embry or myself.

For some reason I found that I wouldn't let go of Embry, I snuck my way into his side as we sat down on the grass around the bonfire we built. His arms around me felt so right, and I felt like all I needed for the rest of my life was him by my side.

The adults had left us alone for the night, only calling out when the food was ready. My grandfather came outside to tell me that he was heading home telling me that I could stay later if I wanted. Of course I wanted to. I couldn't help but notice the smug grin on his face as he watched me with Embry's arms around my waist. He was practically beaming as he looked from my eyes to Embry's and if I wasn't mistaken walking back to the house he had a sort of spring in his step.

"Well I am absolutely bushed," Tally said as she yawned melodramatically.

"Come on Babe, I'll take you home," Paul got up and extended his hand towards Tally. They said their goodbyes and started heading towards his car.

It seemed like them leaving was cause for everyone else to start leaving. Jacob had decided to leave, he looked sad the whole night and I was hoping that somehow I could see him smile like he used too. Quil said something about wanting to see Claire before he went to bed and Jared and Kim were so lost in each others eyes that I wouldn't dare interrupt.

"Come on," Embry said. "I'll take you home." He lifted me off the ground bridal style and headed towards his car.

I started giggling. "I can walk you know."

"Oh really, because I wasn't sure!" He replied sarcastically. I looked up at him in fake annoyance and he simply winked at me sending my heart beating double time.

He placed me down and opened the passenger seat door for me. As I got in the car I noticed a MAXIM magazine on the seat. I quickly tossed it onto the floor making sure I stepped on the cover. Was Embry one of _those guys_? The ones who actually think those girls are beautiful? I hope not.

"So," he said. "What type of music do you listen too?"

"Um, everything except rap."

"Cool, so is Bruce Springsteen okay?"

I nodded. Bruce is one of my all time favorites. I lay back comfortably in my seat as Born to Run began to play. I couldn't however get the idea of that magazine out of my head.

"So, uh, I hope you don't mind but I accidentally stepped on your Maxim magazine." I said, trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing.

"Oh yea, it was Quil's so don't even worry about it. He leaves his shit in my car all the time. Although I'm pretty sure he doesn't want it, now that he's got Claire and all."

"Is Claire like his girlfriend or something?"

"Or something." Embry added, almost in a whisper. I was starting to think I wasn't supposed to have heard it.

"Don't you find this kind of weird?" I asked.

"Find what weird?"

"I mean, here I am sitting in your car, I practically spent the whole night in your arms and yet we're kind of strangers. I mean I haven't seen you in seven years and it feels like those seven years didn't even happen. Call me crazy but I think it's weird that I feel so comfortable being around you when I vowed I would hate you."

Embry looked over at me with a shocked expression on his face. "You vowed you would hate me?"

"Well you know I'm scared of the ocean right? Like I won't go in it at all."

"And that has to do with me because….?"

I was shocked that he didn't remember, not to mention a little annoyed. "Oh I don't know, maybe because you were the one who dragged me into the ocean and pushed my head under!"

Embry was silent for a few seconds. He looked over at me with regret and sadness in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. I was young and stupid and girls had cooties. I'll never hurt you like that again. I swear." He said the last part to himself, almost like he was telling himself never to hurt me again. I smiled faintly at this, he was a good guy. I found myself fawning over him as he pulled into my driveway.

He shut the car off and looked over at me. "I had the most amazing night with you Nila."

I stared into his beautiful eyes and took a sharp intake of breath. _God he was breathtaking_.

"I had a great time with you too Embry." I smiled at him as he started to lean in. I was just about to lean in when _I Kissed a Girl_ started playing. Curse my phone for ringing at the most inopportune moments.

Embry looked disappointed but started laughing when he heard the song. "Is their something you've been meaning to tell me Nila?" I stuck my tongue out at him as I picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Nila Belle. You have no idea how happy I am to here your voice." I felt my jaw drop. Brett was my on again off again boyfriend for the past year. I wasn't in love with him or anything; he was just a guy that was there. Much to his chagrin we hadn't gone farther than making out, which is part of the reason we were off again so much. He wasn't ugly or anything but he just didn't give me the butterflies in my stomach that I wanted. I wanted my first time to be with someone who gave me butterflies over and over again every time I see him.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Nothing, just calling to see how my baby's doing." I paused. We had recently been off again which made it strange for him to be calling me his "baby."

"I thought we said that it's best if we took a break." I glanced over at Embry who was staring at me. His eyes were unreadable.

"Oh come on baby, you know how we are. We're never really off." Brett replied.

"Look Brett, I think that things aren't going to work out."

Embry suddenly looked relieved.

"Nila, you know that's not what you want. I mean, after everything we've been through you're not going to break up with me over the phone."

"Brett, we're not together and now really isn't a good time to talk okay? Look it's just not working out. Bye." I hung up the phone. I had never ever done that before. I mean Brett was the most desirable guy at school and I had had him. So why did I just dump him? I looked over at Embry and a flush of emotion came back into me. I suddenly remembered that no matter how many times I saw Brett, he would never compare to Embry. And Brett never looked at me the way Embry did. Ever.

Embry looked upset. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Was that your boyfriend?"

"No. We weren't together when I left."

"So he was your boyfriend."

"Key word: was. I have no interest in him anymore. We weren't serious or anything, he was more of just a friend with benefits."

"Benefits?"

"Yea, like you know hooking up?"

Suddenly Embry started to shake. I jumped back in my seat a little. "Embry are you okay?"

"What do you mean hooking up? Like random sex?" He was still shaking.

"No! I'm a virgin. We would kiss that's all." As soon as he started shaking, he started to calm down. What was up with that?

Embry looked over at me, his eyes unreadable again. "You should probably go. It's getting late."

Was Embry mad at me?

"Um, okay. Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked hopefully. I didn't know why but I had this feeling that if I didn't see him tomorrow I would explode. I needed him like an addict needs their drugs.

"Sure." He looked sad, angry too. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I reluctantly left the car.

I headed into the house and saw my Grandpa was still up. He was reading on his favorite chair.

"Hey Grandpa!"

"Hello Jaci how was the rest of your night?" He asked with a knowing grin?

"It was good. I loved seeing everyone again."

"And Embry…"Grandpa didn't miss a thing.

"Oh, uh, yea he's good too. Although when we were in the car I got a call from my ex-boyfriend and he started to shake like he was mad. I don't know why he should be mad though I mean for one Brett and I broke up and two I just saw Embry again tonight, it's not like we're together or anything. I don't know it's all so confusing. But I'm wiped so I'll see you in the morning Grandpa."

He was staring at me with an intense gaze. "Yes, goodnight Nila." He went back to reading his book.

_Odd_, I thought to myself. _Why is everyone acting so strange all of a sudden?_

I climbed the stairs into my room and took out my pajamas: cute booty shorts and a Seattle Seahawks tank top.

As I climbed into my bed I realized that I couldn't fall asleep so I started thinking about the night's events. How weird it was that Embry was mad that my ex-boyfriend had called when I'd only just reconnected with him tonight. I have to admit though that when I was with Embry it felt like time was stopping and that it was just us in that moment. When I was with him I felt like nothing else mattered.

_He has no right to get upset though_. I kept thinking in my head. For some reason I kept seeing his face when I told him that Brett and I were more like friends with benefits. I mean I'm not a slut, heck I've only ever made out with a guy. But honestly, he has no right, no place to be upset.

The more I kept thinking about it, the angrier I was getting. Who was Embry Call to get upset when he's practically the reason I don't go in the ocean? Who was he to be upset that I had been hooking up with another guy when as far as I knew Embry was still a jerk? Who was he to start shaking mad because another guy was calling me when he was the one with a Maxim magazine in the front of his car?

_Urgh! The nerve of that boy! _

There was no way I was going to sleep tonight. I was too mad. I could hit something! As far as I'm concerned Embry Call can stay away from me if he's going act like a possessive freak! Screw the way I felt around him! Embry Call has no right to care about me. No right at all!

* * *

I guess I somehow managed to fall asleep because the next thing I know its 9 o'clock in the morning. Boy was I glad it was summer!

I got up out of my bed to get some breakfast when I overheard my grandpa talking to someone in the living room.

"You started shaking in the car?" I heard him ask with a tone to his voice that suggested he was angry.

"I couldn't help it Len! Her ex-boyfriend called and they were friends with benefits! I mean you know what imprinting is like; you can't expect me to not get jealous or angry. You should of heard this guys voice…he's a total ass!" It was Embry's voice. But what was he doing in my house? I knew they were talking about me, but why?

"Embry Call you listen to me, she is my granddaughter. I'm all she has left, and so help me if you put her in any danger…"

"Of course I'm dangerous Len! Why do you think I pushed her out of my car last night and didn't go home? I spent the whole night in the forest! I won't be able to handle myself if I hurt her again. I already feel like shit because she won't go in the ocean! Do you know how it feels to be a disappointment Len?"

"Embry, what she needs is time. She's been through so much and you freaking out, shaking in her presence will only make things worse. She'll come to realize in her own time that she lo….."

I couldn't take this anymore. Not knowing was killing me. I needed to know what they were talking about and why it was so important.

"What will I come to realize in my own time?" Both my grandpa and Embry turned to look at me with shocked expressions on their face.

"Jaci, how much did you hear?" My grandpa asked. I couldn't lie to him, of all people he was the one person I couldn't lie to.

"Um…everything?" I said sheepishly.

"Nila, you know never to eavesdrop," Grandpa looked disappointed. "I'm going to go make you some breakfast. We'll talk later."

My Grandpa left me alone in the living room with Embry, who was standing their in just his sweatpants. No shirt. I felt like I was in heaven. His chest was so chiseled and muscular that I was doing all I could not to jump him right then and there. _Where did that come from?_ I thought that I was mad at Embry….but one look at him, and I'm a goner.

"Hi." I said awkwardly and I went to lean against my couch.

His eyes roamed over my body and they looked hungry but sad. He has a slight smile on his face. That's when I remembered what I was wearing. My booty – and I mean booty – shorts and my very skimpy tank top. I crossed my arms over my chest to hide as much as I could. Like that was going to help.

"Hey." He said, sounding a little melancholy.

"Um, so, about last night…"

"Nila about last night I want to apologize. I had no right to get angry or mean in any way. I was just jealous. Jealous that another guy had kissed you or touched you. I mean have you even seen yourself? You're breathtaking and I just want you all to myself. I know I sound crazy but, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for acting so weird."

I paused trying to take it all in. Jealous? He was jealous of Brett? For some reason that made my heart flutter, to know that he wanted to be the one kissing me or touching me. Embry wanted me all to himself and that gave me butterflies.

"I accept your apology. I'm sorry that you were hurt. Honestly, I don't have feelings for Brett so you have nothing to worry about."

"That's good to know I guess." He sighed.

"So anyway, what's on the agenda for today?"

Embry raised his eyebrows. "You want to hang out with me today?"

"Well I just thought that since you want me all to yourself, perhaps we could hang out and get to know each other more, but if you have better things to be doing then…." I couldn't help but tease him.

"No, no! I just thought that….er….you're Grandpa said you needed some time and space so…"

"Hon, the last time I checked Led wasn't a seventeen year old girl." I winked at him. "Plus, you are here at my house at nine in the morning, so I figure you must want to see me."

He smiled. "Absolutely. There's so much we could do!"

I smiled back at him. "Awesome! But first I'm kind of hungry, let's eat!"

"Sure thing….by the way, you look really hot in your pajamas." He said playfully as I punched him in the arm.

"You wish Embry."

"You have no idea." He said almost cryptically to himself. It didn't matter. As we made our way to the kitchen I realized one thing: Embry Call made me feel incredible. And every time I looked into his eyes I got butterflies. I couldn't wait to see what he had in store for us to do today.

**A/N: review please! **

**Let me know what you all think!! I'm really getting into it. I'm trying to decide what should happen next so I probably won't have the chapter up until the afternoon tomorrow. **

**if you guys have any ideas for the story let me know! I'd love to hear some imput. I'm trying to not be so cliche with this story and i'm trying to do things I haven't read in some other amazing stories! **

**Please Review! It makes me smile )**


	3. Adding Fuel to the Fire

Embry and I spent the next few days together. He showed me first beach and how he and his friends enjoyed cliff diving. I admitted to him that he was crazy on more than one occasion. Embry took me up to Port Angeles to catch the new _Sex and the City_ movie and then took me to this really quaint romantic Italian restaurant. And for the past couple of days we've just been relaxing hanging out with everyone. I felt so comfortable around him, and when I wasn't with him I felt this longing in my heart to be near him.

On more than one occasion I found myself staring at his lips. I longed to know how they would feel against mine. I hadn't kissed him yet, I was waiting for the perfect moment. I didn't want to rush things, I mean we'd only just gotten reacquainted but sometimes I could swear it's like I never left for those seven years. Sometimes I'd find Embry staring at me so intensely and his eyes were void of everything except passion and love. I got chills just thinking about him.

This morning he and I went over to his house with a bunch of the guys and Kim came along too. They all played video games while Kim and I made them lunch. Embry thought it would be funny to start splashing me with the water while he washed the dishes. Needless to say I was soaked so I headed into his room with Kim to find a suitable shirt to wear.

"I can't believe he did that!" I exclaimed as Kim and I walked towards his untidy room.

"Yea, get used to it," she laughed. "They're always doing things like that. The other day when they went cliff diving, Jared threw me off the cliff with him even though he knows I hate heights. I didn't speak to him for the rest of the day."

I stood frozen. "He did that? If Embry did that I don't think he'd have any testicles left." Kim burst out laughing at what seemed like a threat.

"Anyway, this shirt should be suitable I guess." Kim held it out to me like it was dirty laundry.

"Oh thanks!" I took my shirt off and slipped his on. It was huge on me so I tied it with an elastic until it was tight enough. Part of my midriff was showing but I figured it wouldn't hurt to tease him a bit.

I looked around his room, it wasn't that disgusting. There were some posters of bands on the walls and he had a TV in the corner. Other than that it was a normal room, with a gigantic bed in the middle. I couldn't help myself. I loved big beds.

I ran and jumped on his bed while I motioned for Kim to join me. She jumped right over. We both were in a fit of giggles.

"So," I said between my giggles. "How long have you and Jared been together?"

"Almost a year and a half. He's amazing." She sighed into one of the pillows. I could see in her eyes that Jared was her everything and more. I felt a longing inside me to have that too. Then I suddenly thought: _did I have that with Embry_? I sure felt like I was in love with him. He made me feel like I was walking on air and the way he made my heart flutter. Every time I saw him my knees went weak and I had to catch my breath.

I guess I hadn't spoken in a while because Kim finally said something. "You're wondering about you and Embry?" I nodded.

"Well, all I can say is don't deny your feelings. They're stronger than you think. I know how you're feeling; I've been in and am in your position. Embry looks at you like you're his whole world – which to him, you are. Don't be scared of your heart Nila, because I promise you that if you follow it, you'll enter into the most amazing time of your life." Kim smiled at me with a knowing expression.

Maybe that's what this whole imprinting thing was about. Maybe Kim was an imprint too. I mean, she said we're in the same position. I'm sure that's it.

"Oh my gosh!" I heard Kim squeal as I turned to see what she was staring at. There on the floor was a pair of boxers with teddy bears on them: dancing teddy bears!

"Holy crap!" I was practically peeing my pants in laughter. "Tell me those aren't his."

Kim just started nodding her head, laughing to hard to actually speak. She bent down to pick them up and threw them at me. "Take them!"

I caught them before they landed on the floor. "What do you want me to do with them?"

Kim paused and then got a naughty look on her face. "Well," she began conspiratorially. "This may sound creepy but I don't care. I stole a pair of Jared's boxers when he wasn't looking and I wear them to bed."

"You do?"

Kim shrugged. "Yea, at night when he's not with me and I'm longing for him to be, I remember that I'm wearing his boxers and I sort of feel like he's with me. I know that sounds gross but I don't mean for it to be, it's just comforting to know that a part of him is near me."

I took in what Kim was saying. And it made sense, total and complete sense. I smiled at her. "You know, I am fond of dancing bears." She giggled as I quickly stuffed them into my shirt. It looked like I was pregnant but I hid them in my bag before we entered the kitchen.

The boys were laughing at something and when they saw us enter they started laughing harder. Embry turned to look at me and I noticed his eyes move quickly to the exposed part of my stomach. I smiled confidently knowing that he definitely wanted to see more.

Embry came and put his arms around me, looking into my eyes suggestively. "That's it; you have to wear my clothes at all times." He winked at me, and his eyes looked lustful.

"Oh really, and why is that?" I asked flirtatiously, putting my hands on his chest.

"Because you are too sexy for your own good, especially in my clothes." He then bent down and whispered into my ear. "You don't know what that does to me." I felt his hot, sultry breath on the area below my ear and I stumbled to stand my ground. He caught me in his arms and began to laugh.

"Good to know where you're sensitive spots are." He winked at me again and turned to face his friends who were all wrapped up in their own conversations.

* * *

That night I had trouble falling asleep. I kept tossing and turning with thoughts of Embry in my mind. I wanted to touch him; I wanted to feel his hot breath on my neck; I wanted to be in his arms forever.

I never understood what Michelle Branch was saying in her song _Everywhere_ until now. It seemed that no matter where I was or what I did, Embry's face came into my mind. Not that I was complaining, I mean he was unbelievably gorgeous. All I wanted was him lying next to me. Suddenly I remembered what was in my bag. I got up and picked his boxers up out of my bag and carefully put them on. I felt better already, not to mention they were extremely comfortable.

I drifted off to sleep at about 2 when I awoke suddenly around 5:00 a.m. because I heard a light tapping on my window. My heart started beating faster, my bedroom was on the first floor after all and there was no doubt in my mind that I would be the first one killed if an attacker came into the house. I picked up the umbrella that was near my closet as I headed towards the tapping on my window. I looked at the face pressed against the glass and let out a short scream before I realized it was Embry.

I reached over to open the window and with more grace then I thought possible, he climbed into my room.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I lightly hit him with my umbrella. I was trying to hide the fact that my heart was doing jumping jacks because he was actually here in my room.

"You actually think that if I was a killer, an umbrella would be the best defense weapon?" He giggled.

"Embry!" I tried not to yell so loud that I accidentally wake up Grandpa.

"Okay, okay, I wanted to show you something." He said mischievously.

"At five o'clock in the morning?"

He grinned. "Yes. You can only see it at this time"

I sighed with relieve. At least he wasn't here to kill me. It was after I was finally able to tear my eyes from his; I noticed he was only wearing a pair of cutoff sweatpants and nothing else. I really don't think my heart could take him anymore. I mean how much fluttering can one girl's heart take? Oh who was I kidding, I loved it and was soaking it all in.

"So, what did you want to show me?"

"I can't show you here, you have to come with me." I nodded as I made my way to the closet to change.

"What are you doing?" His hand caught mine before I made it to the closet. His hands were so warm I could have sworn he had a temperature.

"Changing?"

"Oh no you're not. You're coming just the way you are…speaking of which: are those my boxers?"

I looked down at my bottoms and realized, with mortification, that I was indeed still wearing his boxers. I looked up at him

"Uh, yea about that…"

He smiled a brilliant smile that I could have sworn would light up the entire sky. "You know those are my favorite pair."

I stifled a laugh. "Oh, umm, well I'll wash them and give them back to you later today."

He threw his head back in laughter but somehow managed to compose himself. "Absolutely not! Remember what I said about you in my clothes? It's taking all of my self restraint to not throw you on your bed right here."

I gasped. He'd never been this forward before. I mean we haven't even kissed yet, although my mind had wandered numerous times to certain things that I wished we had been doing. My bed, his bed, the beach…no place had escaped my mind.

"I, um, well…." I had absolutely no idea what to say to that.

"Don't worry Nila, I have very good self restraint," he walked over to me and put his hands around my waist. He leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Although, I have been know to falter a bit." I felt his hot breath on my neck and I let out a slight moan. It was pure heaven. Embry tightened his grip around me and looked into my eyes. They were so hungry with passion and lust at that moment. He leaned down to whisper in my ear again. "If only you knew what you did to me."

He released his grip and winked at me. He led me towards the window and we both climbed out, careful not to make too much noise.

"So, oh brilliant one, where are we going?" I asked sarcastically, but really wondering where on earth we could be going.

"About three miles that way," he turned and pointed behind my house. Three miles that led into the forest and up the hills.

"Well, that's all swell and good but I don't have shoes on."

"You're silly. You actually thought I'd wake you up at this ungodly hour and make you walk? No, no, no, I carry my girl." He picked me up and put me on his back, piggyback style. I hadn't done that since I was a little girl, but it didn't matter, he said I was _his_, I was his girl.

* * *

It took us about fifteen minutes to get to where he wanted to take us. He placed me down next to him and told me to cover my eyes. I obliged and he picked me up bridal style carrying me another fifteen feet. He finally placed me down and told me to open my eyes.

I was standing in a break in the forest, on top of beautifully carved rocks. They overlooked the ocean and the sun was starting to rise. I felt so insignificantly small in that moment – it was completely, and utterly majestic. The way the colors of the sky mixed with the waves of the ocean made my skin tingle. I was so grateful for Embry bringing me here. I knew this was one thing I would never forget.

I turned to look at his reaction but he was staring at me. "What?" I asked nervously.

"You're so beautiful." He said with all the seriousness in the world. I felt my cheeks get hot, and I knew that technically I was blushing.

"You're not so bad looking yourself." I replied, trying to lighten the mood.

Embry smiled slightly and took two steps towards me. We were so close at this moment and I was screaming inside for him to touch me, to wrap his arms around me.

"Nila," he began. "I love you."

I stood there in silence, looking deeper and deeper into his eyes. All I wanted was for him to engulf me in his body. And I knew, the moment those words left his lips, I knew that I was in love with him too.

"Embry, I love you too. More than you possibly know." I replied. Before I could think he wrapped his arms around me and I felt his lips crush into mine. The kiss started slow and passionate, and I felt a fire engulf my body, it was pure bliss. I had never done ecstasy, but the way his kiss felt, made me believe I was on ecstasy times a billion. Our lips moved together rhythmically, opening and closing together. He traced his tongue around my bottom lip and I granted him entrance into my mouth. The kiss picked up speed, both of us needing and wanting more of the same thing. I wanted this kiss to last forever, never to end. His arms trailed up and down my back and I placed mine around his neck.

I broke apart gasping for breath as he continued kissing my cheek and down my neck; hitting all of my sensitive spots, causing me to moan slightly. Every time I did, his body would tighten around me, pushing me closer to him. His lips found mine again and I was in heaven. My body was on fire, literally and figuratively. I was sweating from the most passionate kiss of my life as we broke apart for air.

I was panting trying to catch my breath, and so was he. "Wow," was about the only thing I could say.

He nodded and pulled me tighter to him. "Better than wow." I nodded against his chest and he held me and we watched the sunrise together.

I wanted this moment to last forever. Standing in Embry's arms was nirvana, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. All I needed was Embry always and forever. All I needed was him for eternity. Embry Call was my soul mate, my one true love, and nothing could tear us apart.

**A/N: Hey everyone keep reviewing!**

**A couple of things, I promise this story isn't going to be all fluff, I've got some really great ideas I'm just not sure how to throw them into the story. I think I want Nila and Embry's relationship to be really strong before I throw them/her to the wolves. PUN INTENDED **

**Also, I'm going to start adding a song for the chapter, something I was listening to that helped me write. **

**Song of the Chapter: **_If God Made You by Five for Fighting_

**It's amazing, listen to it! **

**Much love everyone! Keep reviewing and giving me ideas for things you'd like to see! I love writing this story!! Please please please review !!**


	4. Gotta Secret, Can You Keep It?

**A/N: Hey Everyone! I'm so sorry for not having updated for a long time. Summer started and my best friends decided to do this summer program for 6 weeks so I've been trying to spend as much time with them as possible before they leave. Now that they left, hopefully I'll have more time to write! Sorry that this chapter is so short, I had to get it up because I was getting anxious. I promise the next one will be longer! **

**I'm currently writing two stories so check out my other one, it's a Bella/Edward one and it's fun! But of course my heart is with the wolves! **

**Sorry again about the shortness, and late update!**

* * *

I was running. Running with all my might, faster and faster as the wind whipped past me. I was on all fours, covered in fur, running towards something. What was I? I was a wolf, running through the trees towards someone in the distance. As I neared a clearing I saw my Grandfather. He smiled at me and bent down to my eye level.

"Welcome home Nila." He said as I saw a pack of wolves emerge from the woods.

They were all different colors, a russet colored one, a pure black wolf, and a dark chocolate wolf, whose eyes looked exactly like Embry's.

I heard a howl that I realized came from deep within me, and the next time I looked towards my grandfather I saw a big grey wolf in his place. Motioning for me to follow him.

Just as I started to follow him I became really hot, I was aware of the sweat dripping down my body. I woke up in a daze, realizing I was in my room. I motioned to get up only to be pulled down by a strong iron grip. I looked to see that Embry's arms were around me.

Suddenly the morning's events came back to me. The umbrella, the sunset, the kiss. I remember bringing him back to my room and we both fell into a peaceful slumber around 6:00.

I glanced over at my clock to see that it read 10:33. I was still so tired. I tried to move but grimaced when his arms dug into my stomach. I turned over so that we were lying face to face.

"Embry." I whispered.

Nothing.

I tried shaking him. "Embry." Still nothing. I needed a better idea.

I was inching my way closer to him, my lips centimeters from his, I moved them up and down his jaw and I nibbled on his ear. "Embry baby wake up." I whispered as my lips made their way to his. Just barely touching, my fingers stroked his cheek and I saw a smile emerge on his face.

I giggled. "Embry I know you are awake. Release me now!"

Instead of releasing me, he pulled me closer to him so that we were chest to chest. I called his name a few more times before gentling pushing him and lightly hitting him. Still nothing.

"Embry Call," I said a little louder. "If you don't release me this instant, I won't kiss you for a week."

Suddenly I was on the ground. He had pushed me so hard away that I landed with a hard thump against the ground.

"Hmph. Just for that, no kisses for the rest of the day." I said, rubbing my butt as I stood.

"No! I guess I got a little anxious at your threat." He said sheepishly.

I turned my back to him with my arms crossed over my chest. The cold shoulder would do him some good.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door and my grandfather walked in. "Jaci," he said looking at me as I continued to nurse my aching butt. "What would you like for breakfast?"

I looked up at him and he seemed unfazed by the fact that Embry was in my room. That or he hadn't noticed at all.

"Um, pancakes I guess? But I can make them if you want, if you have things to do."

"Nonsense it's no trouble. Plus I bet you and Embry are hungry after that long trek through the woods this morning."

I swore I heard my jaw hit the floor. He knew? Did he see us sneak off? Did he not care?

"I, uhh…you see its funny Grandpa, because we um…" He put his hand up to stop me from my incoherent babble.

He crossed his arms across his chest and leaned casually against the doorframe. A small smirk crossed his face. "You thought I didn't know? That's possibly the oldest trick in the book: bringing a beautiful girl out to the overlook to watch the sunrise…heck I practically told Embry about it. I told him he could have used the front door but apparently he lacks common sense. I may be old but my hearing is just as good as it was when I was seventeen. I heard you two clowns this morning."

I stood there just staring at my Grandpa as he laughed at both mine and Embry's expression. Embry stood there with his mouth closed in a tight line and anger in his eyes. I suppose my Grandpa wasn't supposed to mention that he A) knew and B) was the one who told Embry about it. Of course it didn't make me think any less of Embry, the fact that he wanted to take me there at all was incredible.

"Oh, okay um well I'm just going to shower and be there for breakfast in a bit." My Grandpa nodded and headed downstairs.

I turned to see Embry sheepishly staring at the floor.

"It doesn't matter you know." I said to him, trying to get him to look at me. He wasn't budging.

"What doesn't?"

"The fact that perhaps my Grandpa told you about the sunrise or that he knows. I probably would have told him anyway since I'm not one for keeping secrets." Suddenly his head shot up and he had a pained expression in his eyes. I couldn't figure out what it was but it didn't look right on his beautiful face. I suddenly felt the urge to wipe that look out of his eyes and never see it return.

"Er…yea, listen I have to go but I'll call you later okay?"

I was taken aback. I know he didn't mean to sound rash or rude but it came out that way…did I tell him that I loved him this morning? It didn't make sense, was he embarrassed? It doesn't matter to me. Was it something I said?

Before I could say anything he flew out of my room. I heard a bit of conversation between my grandpa and Embry but not enough to make sense of it.

(Grandpa is regular, **Embry is bold**)

"She needs to know…**It's too soon**…How is it too soon…**I'm not ready to subject her to that…." **

I couldn't help but wonder what Embry was hiding from me and didn't want me to know. Whatever it was he sure doesn't want to subject me to that…and yet, why should he get to decide what I can and cannot be subjected too? Grandpa didn't have a problem with me knowing so why does Embry?

It was all too much. As I jumped into the hot shower I felt my tension breaking away and relaxation wash over my body. It felt good to be under heat again, not as good as being in Embry's arms but still, I'd take the heat over the cold any day of the week.

After I got out of the shower I changed and went into the kitchen only to find it completely barren. There was a note on the counter next to the pancakes:

_Jaci, _

_Went out for a bit with Sam. Will be gone for _

_most of the day so don't expect me home soon. _

_Try and have some fun. There's money under_

_the cookie jar if need be. _

_Love, _

_Grandpa _

It seems like I'm alone for the rest of the day. It seemed odd to me that Grandpa would be hanging out with Sam all day, but then again Sam always had this essence about him. I couldn't put my finger on it, but he definitely wasn't someone to be messed with.

I decided to eat and spend the day inside. It was raining again, much to my dismay so I settled on a good Jane Austen novel and one of my favorite movies _You've Got Mail_. I gave Tally a call to come over but for some reason she wasn't available. My aunt said she was out with the gang. Whatever that meant.

I couldn't help but try to ignore the pang in the back of my stomach that told me something wasn't right. Suddenly everyone was out and acting weird and I didn't know why. This morning everything was perfect – beyond perfect – and now I feel like it's all going down the drain.

Why couldn't I erase the thought from my head that was telling me Embry, and everyone else, was keeping something from me. Why did he react so strangely when I told him I don't keep secrets? Is it the fact that they're keeping something from me? I honestly had no idea, but I prayed Embry would call me soon so we could talk. I wanted to know what was going on, and I wanted to know now.

**A/N: Again sorry it was so short! Review and I promise a longer chapter and quicker updates (hopefully)! I love writing this story and the characters so review and if you have any ideas let me know...**

**Song for the Chapter:** _Secret by The Pierces_

**Also, I know I kind of rushed the whole "secrets" thing, but for sake of the story let's pretend she's been noticing weird secretive things that she hasn't been clued in on...I know I suck, but I only just thought of that so yea...**

**Review Please! Love you all!**


	5. Losing Myself to Somebody Else

**A/n: Hey all! Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm glad you all are liking it! I have to say, I'm falling in love with my story! HEHE! Okay and this is my one and only universal disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, ONLY THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS I'VE CREATED. ) ON with it: **

For the past two days I was stuck inside the house, trying to occupy my mind enough to forget about the fact that A) Embry or anyone else for that matter hasn't called me and B) Grandpa Len has been acting extremely tense and on edge.

At this point I wasn't even mad…I was furious, beyond boiling that Embry – or anyone else – didn't even have the courtesy to call me and say something like "oh hey Nila, yea sorry but we're going to ditch you for two days with no contact whatsoever." _Geez, at least then I would have been given a heads-up. _

I found myself sprawled out across the couch in the living room watching Tila Tequila choose the "love of her life." Yes, my life has become so pathetic that I'm actually watching reality TV, something I always found to be stupid and annoying.

The _recently unfamiliar_ ringing of my cell phone caught me off guard and I stumbled off the couch to find it. I threw it in my frustrations earlier in the day after calling Embry's house and finding that yet again he wasn't home.

"Hello." I sounded harsher than normal, but I was pretty much fuming.

"Uh…hey Niles, are you okay?" The familiar voice asked me.

It's amazing how hundreds of miles can be between you and another person and yet, you find every time you talk it's like you saw each other that morning.

"MOLLY!" I screeched into the phone; too excited to hear from my best friend from back home.

"Hey Nila-Bell how are you?"

"Ugh, don't even get me started. I've been stuck in my house for two whole days. I've been ditched."

"Impossible! Nila Hollis does not get ditched." She said honestly into the phone.

"Well apparently now I do." I sighed. It was no use, the effect Embry had on me was astounding, it's like I became a whole other person without him…I didn't know what to do with myself: me, the formerly independent Nila Hollis who was every man's dream back at my old boarding school had lost her self over the course of two months.

"This just won't do…I guess I'm going to have to come up for a visit and help you get un-ditched."

"What?!"

"I'm coming up for a visit! Daddy booked the flight last night! I'll be there on Friday!" She yelled into the phone, I couldn't really hear her over both of our screeching!

"Yes! Oh Molls I miss you so much, you have no idea! It'll be so great to have you here! How long are you staying for?"

"Well it's an open ticket, but I'm going to Fiji in two weeks with Shiloh and Cara so I can't stay as long as I'd like, but I'll be there for at least five days!"

Finally, some normalcy can return into my life. No more staying up late at night wondering if he's thinking about me, or what he's doing…no more staring at my phone willing someone to call me. From now on, I'd become the once independent Nila I was before I moved here. I'd regain who I was, the confident, cool, collected, creative, and cute Nila Vivienne Hollis. Forget Embry and everyone else who doesn't have the decency to call me…I'd make my own fun and with Molly by my side, we'll be unstoppable!

"I seriously cannot wait to see you! This is amazing; we're going to have a blast!"

"I know, it's going to be beyond…listen sweets I have to run, Shiloh's picking me up for yoga class in five minutes and I'm still not dressed, but I love you and I'll see you in two days."

Molly hung up before I could say goodbye but it didn't matter…she was coming! No longer would I be stuck inside this boring house watching stupid Whitney Whisky or whatever her name is look for love…I'd be free to find myself again!

I immediately started making preparations for Molly's arrival. I cleaned the house up and down twice. It's not that I was worried the house would make a bad impression, it's just that well Molly's used to more "comfortable" living if you know what I mean, and this house is about four times smaller than her California mansion.

Molly Foxx lives on a 300 acre ranch in Napa, California; her family owns one of the most incredible vineyards anyone has ever laid eyes on. She's shorter than me, reaching only to about my neck, but her auburn hair and piercing green eyes put her ahead in the looks department: in my eyes anyway. She blended in with the California culture whereas I looked as out of place as a fruitloop in a bowl of cheerios.

After the house was spotless, I took a hot shower to relax my muscles. The heat felt good, loosening my muscles but I quickly became too hot and I made the temperature of the shower much cooler. It was only recently that I began to feel hotter. I'd always been cold, but recently I've started wearing nothing but short shorts and tank tops for fear of overheating in anything else. I'd also noticed I had grown a few inches and was nearing the 6 foot mark. It didn't surprise me at all, I figured I'd get taller…the doctor did say I'd be almost as tall as my dad who was 6'3.

Eventually I let the day's exhaustion of sitting around doing nothing, and then cleaning get to me and I plopped down onto my bed ready for a nights sleep. As I glanced at the clock I realized it was only eight, but I honestly had nothing better to do with my time. I rolled over onto my side and proceeded to fall into a peaceful slumber.

I rolled over onto my stomach and inwardly groaned. I felt nauseous, and my head was splitting. _Migraine_, I yelled at myself. Too much cleaning and sitting around always made me sick.

I pierced at the clock and noticed that it wasn't even nine yet, but there was no use getting back to sleep. I was already up.

There was only one cure for the migraine's I always get: Hollis Juice. It's my families' secret recipe drink that cures every ailment possible. The only problem is my dad never taught me how to make it...

Before I even thought of asking Grandpa to make it I noticed another note on the counter.

_Went Out. Back soon. _

_Take care, _

_Grandpa_

It got to the point where I started believing I wasn't wanted here, that I was just a huge burden on everyone and they decided to take time for themselves so they could be away from _NilaLand_ for a while. Whatever, if they couldn't give two shits about me, then I couldn't give to shits about them.

I was all gung-ho for my decision to not give a shit when I was struck with the pain inside my head and I remembered that I needed someone to make that damned juice drink for me...and then I'd go on my way not giving shits.

I quickly dialed Tally's number, hoping that she was home and could come over and make me the drink and possibly hang out with me…Tally had also disappeared with every other person on this stupid reservation.

"Uh, hello…" She said tentatively into the phone.

"Tally. I need you to come over…"

"Oh hey Nila, listen I can't talk right now." I heard her say something to someone but I was too nauseous to care. There were muffled conversations in the background and I knew she wasn't alone, but it was too noisy to be her house.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at home."

"Sounds like there's a party going on."

"Uh, nope no party…listen I really have to go…"

"No wait…I need you to come over, I'm not feeling good and I need you to make Hollis Juice for me."

There were more muffled voices speaking and I thought I heard Embry but I quickly dismissed that thought…I didn't give a shit anymore.

"Its hot sauce, tomato juice, celery, ice, cayenne pepper, chili powder, and a carrot okay? I have to go bye."

And with that Tally hung up on me leaving me speechless. Not only did I find out the secret recipe, but she so rudely lied to me right over the phone when it was obvious she wasn't alone and was with a whole bunch of people.

I angrily walked to the refrigerator only to notice that we had two of the needed ingredients. I grabbed the keys off the counter and walked out the door. Today was one of the rare sunny days in La Push and the fact that it was boiling hot out didn't make me feel any better, if anything I felt suffocated and more nauseous.

I drove quickly to the market and home in less than twenty minutes. By the time I got home I saw that Grandpa had returned, but I was in no mood to talk to him. All I wanted was to make my stupid juice, and go back to bed so I could wallow in self pity.

"Nila is that you?" Grandpa sounded a little on edge.

"Who else would it be?" I snapped back as I headed into the kitchen. It looked strange having people in it when I'd been the sole occupant for the past few days.

"I was just checking…you don't look so good. Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not." I quickly brushed past him as I pulled the blender out of the cupboard and dumped the ingredients in.

"Hollis Juice?" He asked with a slight chuckle in his voice.

"Yep." I made sure to pop my P like a bored twelve year old, but I couldn't help it…I was beyond pissed. This was the first time I'd seen my Grandpa in three days and he didn't even acknowledge his absence.

Grandpa must have noticed that I was angry because he quickly left the room and put the TV on in the other room. I heard drabbles of a sports game and Grandpa complaining about something when my phone rang.

I picked it up and looked at the caller ID. **Embry** it said. I hit the ignore button and poured myself a huge glass of juice before walking into my room, locking the door, and playing my country music that sooths me in my time of sickness.

The phone rang again, and I hit the ignore button. I did this at least five more times before finally shutting my phone off. I figure that wouldn't stop him, so I proceeded to lock my window, shut the curtains and put my desk chair under the doorknob of my door. No one was getting in, and I didn't plan on getting out. I would lock myself in my room until I felt better.

I couldn't afford to be sick with Molly coming into town tomorrow. I need to be alive for my time with her…I needed to be alive so I could finally find myself again, the real me who didn't let stupid people who ditched her bring her mojo and her mood down.

I practically chugged my juice but once it was done I was already feeling a lot better. I decided I wasn't tired enough to sleep so I quickly scanned my bookcase for one of my favorite books in the world: _To Kill a Mockingbird_. I can't help but cry for Boo Radley and Scout makes me smile all the time, it's books like these that help me get through my tough times…after my grandma died I read _Moby Dick_ at least three times – it was my Grandma's favorite book and it made me feel like I was close to her again.

A good ways into my book I heard the front door slam open and muffled voices. It sounded like more than one person had come to the house but I didn't care. I don't like keeping secrets and I don't like liars…I especially don't like people who disregard other people and their feelings. I had a hunch I knew who came to the house, but I immersed myself back into my book.

Not even two minutes later I heard a banging on my door and the desperate attempt to turn the doorknob.

"Nila…"

_Not responding._

"Nila, its Embry. Open the door."

_Not talking to you._

"Open the door baby."

_Is he kidding? _

"Please open the door Niles."

_Nope._

"Open this door honey."

_Honey? Seriously? _

"Nila."

_Wow he knows my name! _

"Damnit Nila Hollis open this door NOW!" Embry yelled into the door. I never heard him yell like that before, but I didn't like it.

I wasn't going to open that door. Not for him or anyone else, unless that person happened to be Molly.

"Nila," his voice softened, "please open the door. Please."

I sighed…he wasn't going to give up.

"Sorry, I'm changing." I called out to him. I heard him hit the door again.

After about two minutes of silence, I thought that perhaps he had given up.

"Nila, can you open the door now."

Of course he didn't give up…but I was not opening that damn door.

"No I'm still changing."

"What are you changing?"

I thought for a moment…should I be witty, or truthful?

"It doesn't matter. But what does matter is the fact that I'll be changing for the next few days so you better leave otherwise you'll die of boredom just staring at that door that I refuse to open for anyone."

"Nila…" he sounded really sad. No, I thought to myself; _don't let him get to you! Stand your ground woman!_

"Embry," I sighed. "Just go away."

"Damnit NO!" He yelled and hit the door again. This time I was getting angry, why couldn't he just leave me the fuck alone? Why all of a sudden did he want to talk to me?

"If you break down that door, you can build a new one." I called out smugly.

Embry hit the door again until I heard someone else talking to Embry.

"Nila?" It was Quil.

"Yes Quil?"

"Can you do me a favor and open the door?" He asked, I thought I could hear a hint of smugness in his voice; he was probably smirking at Embry thinking he won.

"No, but can you do me a favor and go fuck yourself?" I hated that I was so rude to him but honestly, he wasn't any better than the rest of them…he didn't return my calls either.

I heard snickers and realized they weren't alone. How many people were on the other side of my door?

"Nila open the stupid door." I heard an angry Paul yell.

"Niles, please open the door for us." Tally called. She was number one on my hate list…okay maybe number two below Embry. Because at least she wouldn't tell a girl they loved her and then run off later in the day never speaking to the girl until three days later.

"No, I can't talk now." I mocked her tone that she used earlier on the phone.

I heard a bunch more attempts from various other people but I wasn't budging. After Jared's attempt I heard everyone whispering to someone else, saying a bunch of "you try," and "you're the only one."

"Nila," I heard a sad voice through the door. "It's Jake, can you…" he sighed, "can you just open the door? Please? For me?"

My heart was suddenly filled with sadness. Jake's tone was so sad and depressing it would make anyone's heart break. I had heard about his previous love fiasco and the girl who stole his heart and ran away with it to Alaska, then his time away from La Push…I never heard the story from him but I could feel the sadness radiating off him every time I saw him.

Jake was, surprisingly, the only one who called me within those three days. It was once, the first day, just to check up on me and make sure I hadn't gone AWOL. He mentioned something about urgent tribe business and how everyone was working to get it sorted. I halfheartedly believed him, I could always tell when someone wasn't telling the truth or the full truth and I knew Jake was hiding something…possibly the same thing everyone else was hiding from me; the thing that kept them from me for three days.

I sighed. "Jake, I would open the door for you, and only you, but since you're not alone and the only reason you want me to open the door is so that Embry can talk to me, I can't open the door because to be honest I want nothing to do with him right now, or anyone else behind my door for that matter. Except for you Jake, I don't feel like talking to anyone today, or tomorrow, or for the next few days. My friends, my real friends are coming into town and I'd like to just be with them without all this tribal secrecy floating about around them. Okay?"

I heard him sigh. There were a few "is she serious" and "shits" said but other than that no one said a thing.

I went back to reading my book after ten minutes with no knocking or voices. I realized they must have all left; that or they camped out by my door realizing I'll have to pee eventually. Unfortunately for them, I'm good at holding in my pee.

The rest of the day was spent in bed reading and listening to music. I drifted off to sleep somewhere around nine and woke up startled by a loud knocking on my door. The clock read 11:30 and I swiftly cursed under my breath realizing that Molly was probably here.

I patted my hair, praying I looked semi-decent, and ran to the door. My migraine and nausea was gone, but I was still unbearably hot. I heard more banging on the door and I threw it open in a huff.

"Molly!" I shouted excitedly. There she stood in all of her 5'4 glory.

"Nila! Holy shit you look different!" She exclaimed.

"Different how? Like I used to be a black boy, now I'm a white woman different?"

"No! Like a sexier, more gorgeous different. And you're so much taller then I remember! Oh I missed you!" She quickly plopped her bags down and gave me a huge hug. It felt good to hug her again, to be with someone so familiar and so kind.

"How was the flight? Boring? Long?"

"No, not at all. I had some surprising company." Molly said, with an extra something in her voice that I couldn't pin-point.

"Really? Who?"

I turned my head as I heard extra footsteps walking into the house and shutting the door. My eyes widened as I looked at the person standing before me.

"Hey Niles."

**A/N: CLIFF HANGER! Wahoo! I wanted so bad to put on into my story hahah, any guesses as to who this mystery person is? **

**I'm also curious: do you guys like Nila? Do you think she's too irrational? **

**Tell me your thoughts and give me some imput...i sort of have the next few chapters planned out...I just want to make sure you guys aren't finding her too stupid, irrational, or dramatic.**

**I'm going to defend her logic by saying this: she basically told Embry she loved him, and he said it back, then left abruptly that same day, not talking to her until three days later when he comes storming into her house demanding the door be opened. **

**So yea...oh and even though she's madly in love with him, she's not used to being dependant on anyone but herself, hence her trying to "find herself again." she feels too much like she's lost who she was and has devoted herself to Embry and everyone elses whim. **

**Song of the Chapter:** _Everything I'm Not by The Veronicas_

**HOpe you love it! REVIEW PLEASE!! Thanks lovies! I'll have the next chapter up really soon! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

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	6. You Wouldn't Like Me If You Met Me

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Thanks to everyone for the reviews! I'm so glad you all like it!! Although I had some trouble writing this chapter, I don't know...things didn't turn out the way that I planned. I hope you like it. Sorry if it sucks, it's not my best chapter. Enjoy :)**

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"Brett!" My eyes widened even more in shock. I was speechless. What was he doing here?

"You look amazing Nila." He took a step closer to me and I took a step back, thank goodness he didn't notice.

"Brett…what…what're you doing here?"

He just smiled at me. "I really wanted to see you. I've missed you. I've missed us. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I don't like how the way things ended, I figured if I came out here to see you we could try and work this out."

The more I looked at his dark hair, light eyes, and artificial tan I couldn't help but wonder what I ever saw in him. He's nothing like Embry, no one could ever compare to Embry…no matter how stupid he is being, I'm still hopelessly in love with him. But I couldn't hide the fact that he made me feel like shit.

I've always had a problem with love. I never believed in it, I thought it was an idea cooked up by Hollywood big shots, something to be sold to men and women around the world. I thought love as a billion dollar industry, not something that could actually happen between two people. After my mother left me and my dad I felt responsible, like I wasn't worth her love so she just up and left. I never had love from my mother, I never saw love between parents…I was convinced that it was a hoax.

And then I met Embry again and everything changed. I was seeing the world differently and I was happy, the happiest I've ever been. It was amazing the way he made me feel and when he looked me in the eyes I could get lost in his gaze, just wanting to be with him forever. Being with him was enough…and I knew then that I was in love with him. Because to me, I didn't want to be without him, and I never wanted to be with anyone else, and I realized that love is wanting to do whatever it takes to make the other person happy and never wanting to be without them. It's a give and take relationship and I was ready to give my heart over to Embry…and I did. But now I feel like I wasn't worthy of his love either, that to him love was something disposable and he didn't mean it when he said it.

To be honest, I never felt more like crap then in those three days that he didn't talk to me. I felt worthless, as worthless as when my mother left me. Sometimes I still feel worthless.

"Imagine my surprise when I got onto the plane to see Brett Marshall sitting in the seat next to mine." Molly said, taking me out of my inner thoughts.

"And imagine my surprise to realize Molly was going to the same place I intended on going too." He smiled at me, the smile that makes every girl back home swoon…and yet I felt nothing.

"Interesting. So where do you plan on staying?" I said bluntly, not beating around the bush any longer.

"Well, I was hoping I could crash here." He tried to sound sheepish and grateful. Like I was going to buy that.

"I'll have to ask my grandfather. Molly you'll be staying in my room with me. It's down the hall to the right." I pointed her in the direction and she moved to take her bags into the room.

"My God the air up here did wonders for you Niles." There was sleazy Brett…the one I'd been waiting to hear from.

"Gee thanks."

"So how've you been since our last conversation?"

"I've been amazing. And you?"

"Lonely."

I scoffed. Brett Marshall was many things, but I doubt lonely was one of them.

"I'm sure you were."

"I don't know what you thought I'd be doing Nila. You know that I thought we were together when you left."

"That was rather stupid of you considering you cheated on me with Victoria Hansen at the prom. I remember telling you directly to your face that we were done."

"I know you cried a lot over that and I'm sorry but she was giving me what you weren't. I just think that you were acting rash…you knew it was more of a friends with benefits thing anyway…I don't know why you freaked out."

"You know what it doesn't matter. I've moved on and I'm sure you have as well. Since you're here let's just try and make the best of it. Friends?" I asked him, not wanting to actually be friends, but for my sake and Molly's it would be easier if the fighting just stopped. I didn't care about him in that way anymore so it honestly didn't matter; we could be friends…non sexual friends.

He paused for a moment, and eventually a smile broke out across his face. "Yes, friends." He walked towards me and wrapped me in his embrace, his normal, sleazy embrace.

"So this is First Beach?" Brett said disappointedly as he walked further towards the ocean.

"This is First Beach."

"It's ugly." He said frankly. I scoffed and linked my arms through Molly's as we walked ahead of him.

"Gosh this place is gorgeous in its own sort of way…you're so lucky."

I swallowed hard. Yea, sure, I was lucky I got to live in this beautiful place only because my father passed away and custody went to my Grandfather who specifically requested I lived with him. I know Molly wasn't trying to be rude but I still felt a little jolt of anger at her words.

"Yea, sure I am."

"Oh Niles, I didn't mean it like that…I just meant that this place is really pretty and that the people who live here are lucky. I'm sorry."

I nodded. "I know Molls, I'm not upset. It just all happened so quickly you know. I mean I never really saw my dad, but it just felt weird knowing I'd never see him again. Then my Grandpa specifically requested I move here with him…it was all just so fast and weird. These past two months have been the most amazing, but sad months of my life."

Molly's eyebrows raised in suspicion. "Amazing? What haven't you been telling me in your letters and e-mails?"

Shit.

"Oh, well just amazing that I met great people and am fortunate to have a loving family member who still…er…loves me?" I sounded more like a question than a fact, and unluckily for me, Molly could always see through my bullshit.

"Nila Vivienne Hollis! You write me letters telling me about the rain and some cool friends you made and about how you saw a sunset early in the morning…nothing about that seemed amazing."

"Ugh, okay, I may have met someone here who I may or may not be in a relationship with as of right now."

Molly stopped dead in her tracks. "WHAT!" She screamed. "You have a boyfriend?!"

I nodded and continued walking down the beach.

"You're just going to leave me hanging? Nila tell me everything."

"Fine. We've been together for the past month and a half and he's gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, funny, smart…and a total jackass sometimes. He told me he loved me. And then he just didn't talk to me for three days and then comes to my house expecting me to talk to him and everything to be the same…and you know how I am about feelings and relationships. I got mad and made a scene, I told one of my friends and his to go fuck himself. It's all a little shaky but I'm horribly pissed off at him and mad and upset and I don't even know if we're still together." I exhaled sharply as I finished my rant.

"I see. Well fuck him…what asshole tells the most amazing girl in the world he loves her and then disappears for three days? What a fucktard. Don't worry about him, I'm here now and I'll help you get your mind off that little ass." Molly was always caring and selfless and no matter what always had my back. She was always on my side and defended me until the end. I could honestly say that at that moment I was the luckiest girl in the world to have Molly as my best friend.

"This beach is boring, let's go do something…" Brett took us out of girl world and brought us back to reality. Stupid Brett, why was he here?

"What do you want to do?" We were all silent for a moment until we heard a scream and something hit the water.

"That!" He pointed as I turned and saw my "friends" from LaPush cliff diving. Cliff diving was the local recreation and I had many a time turned down Embry's offer to go. There was no way I was going anywhere near the water. Heights I could handle, but the ocean was a completely different story.

"No way!"

"Yes way! Come on!" Brett started running up towards the top of the cliff where many of my various friends were standing.

Molly and I followed him up not wanting to make too much noise. I wanted to be discreet as possibly, hoping that Embry wouldn't notice I was there. I still didn't want to talk to him. He made me feel so worthless and completely shitty that I was scared I would say things I would regret.

"Hey!" I heard Brett call out and everyone turned around to see who this intruder was.

"Um hey…" Quil replied hesitantly as Brett walked towards them.

"How does this cliff thing work? You just jump?"

"Basically…but it's not safe today…there's a strong wind today and the water's really choppy and from the looks of you you'd just get washed away into the oblivion of the ocean." Quil said smugly as he noted Brett's obvious lack of height and muscle compared to him and everyone else.

All the Quileute boys that I hung out with were tall and had that dark copper skin. Black hair of various lengths adorned their heads and they all had piercing black eyes that seemed to change from light black to dark with their emotions. Not to mention, they all were covered in muscle and had running temperatures that could make the devil sweat.

Brett on the other hand had muscle, but not much. He had a fake tan, brown hair, and green eyes that used to be gorgeous until I realized how much more partial I was to black eyes. He wasn't that tall…probably 6 feet and he definitely wouldn't be able to swim in that water.

"Is that so…didn't someone just jump in?" Brett asked triumphantly.

"No, we threw a rock in." Quil stated, but I knew he was lying because off the corner of my eye I saw Jared standing there in soaked pants.

"Brett let's just go." I said as I walked towards the group. Until now they hadn't noticed me and Molly standing towards the trees.

"Nila you know this guy?" Quil asked as everyone moved towards me.

"Yea, he's a…friend from back home. He came to visit with my best friend Molly." I quickly introduced them to the group and noticed that someone important was visibly missing.

"He's not here." I turned my attention back to Quil only to see him looking at me with a knowing look.

"What are you talking about?" Damn, he must have noticed me glancing around for the person I did not want to see…and yet I desperately did. To tell him how much he hurt me and that he was a jackass, but none the less I still wanted to see him.

"Embry's not here…he's at his house, in his room with the door locked not opening it for anyone. You two have so much in common it's not even funny. He's miserable Nila."

"Good," was all I could muster to say. He should be miserable for making me feel like shit.

"You don't mean that." I turned and looked at Jacob who had up until now escaped my notice. He never used to be quiet before I left but now it's as if he doesn't ever talk.

"I do. He deserves to be miserable after making me feel like shit. So that's all I have to say about it. Come on Brett let's go."

Molly and I turned to walk away not wanting to here everyone's response. I silently prayed Brett was following us because I didn't think I had it in me to go face everyone again. I knew they were all on Embry's side…they'd been friends longer but it hurt that they were also the ones who did this too me, who gave me an empty feeling inside. Only one of them had talked to me in those three days. But yet I sort of forgave them, not caring one way or the other if they talked to me because they weren't the ones I wished to be holding late at night or too be talking to on the phone until the wee hours of the morning. They were my friends, and they had done something wrong, but they didn't do what Embry did.

He didn't know about my feelings about love, or anything like that, but that doesn't make it okay for him to do what he did. Just because you say I Love You, it doesn't mean that you can't hurt that person, if anything, it means that you could hurt them more. And that's exactly what Embry did: he hurt me more than I could ever imagine. More than I thought possible. I had my doubts about love, not believing in it at all until I met him, and now, he had given me a complete circle of love and heart break. I was a mess…underneath my façade of anger and bitchiness all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry…but I couldn't, because I needed to be comforted as well, and the only person who could comfort me was the one who was causing me the pain in the first place.

"Who were they talking about? Who's that Embryo guy?" Brett asked taking me out of my thoughts yet again.

"His name is Embry."

"Whatever. Who is he and why were they acting like you two had something going on?" Now he cares! Before I moved here, whenever I would talk to other guys or other guys would hit on me Brett could care less, telling me I was hot and I should get used to it. He was never possessive, never jealous, and I was glad don't get me wrong, but sometimes I girl wants to feel like she's actually wanted, and not just a piece of meat.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. Who is he?"

"He's her boyfriend okay Brett?" Molly snapped at him. _Shit_, I thought, _now I'd have to tell him. _

I glared at Molly and she understood that Brett wasn't to know about Embry. I felt bad for not actually telling her, but still, I mean common sense right? The ex doesn't need to know about the guy who's replacing him.

"You're boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?" Brett practically yelled at me as we made our way closer to the road.

"Yes. Although I don't see how it's any of your business."

"Like hell it's not. Are you stupid or do you just not remember that we were together when you left, so basically you've been two timing me."

"Brett read my lips WE WERE NOT TOGETHER" I yelled at him.

"YES WE WERE."

"NO WE WEREN'T."

"I always knew you were a tease, but I never pegged you for a slut. God Nila, screwing two guys at once? I mean really."

"WHAT?" I turned around only to see Quil and the others standing behind mine and Brett's screaming match.

"It's not like that Quil."

He looked angry and his arms were shaking. "I know Nila, I was talking to that asshole over there. What did you say about her?"

Brett looked visibly scared. "I didn't say anything."

"No, I think you did. What did you call her? A slut? This is funny considering we know all about your guys' relationship and if I recall correctly she's still a virgin, so maybe you thought you were looking in a mirror when you called her a two timer and a slut. Because correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you the one to cheat?"

I was shocked. No one had ever stood up for me before.

"Fuck you. Who the fuck are you to talk to me like that? Nila is mine, and I can say whatever I want to her. She belongs to _me_."

"First of all, no woman belongs to you, you fucking douchebag. And second of all Nila is not yours and she will never be again. So you have five minutes to get out of my sight or you are going to seriously regret it. Get the fuck out of here." Quil was visibly shaking now, as were others behind him. I saw Tally try to calm them all down but I couldn't help but notice she was shaking a bit too. _Weird_.

Brett just glared at me and turned to walk away. But he stopped halfway and turned around. "You better know what you guys are doing. She's a fucking nutcase. Good luck dealing with all of her bullshit. I hope you have fun with the prude princess. She's not even_ worth it_."

Brett turned and ran all the way down the road. Probably scared that someone was going to come after him.

I sank to the ground and stared out into the ocean. No one had ever actually voiced that I was a nutcase. I knew I had issues, but not serious issues. If being weird about sex and relationships and love made me a wack job then fine. I guess I was a wack job. It just hurt to know that Brett was right. I wasn't worth it. I'm worthless. Everything I was scared of was true…Brett knew it, and Embry knew it: I was worthless. I wasn't worth anything which is why they both did what they did. Brett cheated and Embry pretty much left me…because I wasn't worth it.

I felt arms pull me next to them in an embrace and I heard Molly whispering things in my ear. She was doing her best to comfort me. I wish I could say it was working, but honestly all I kept thinking was that I was as worthless as I always thought I was. Now everyone would realize. I'm nothing. I am worthless.

"What does she keep whispering?" I heard a voice say.

"I think she's saying 'I'm worthless.'"

"Oh no." Molly said out loud, with a slight sadness in her voice. Only once before had she ever seen me like this and it wasn't pretty.

"Molly what's going on?" Jacob called out, he sounded desperately worried.

"She should be the one to tell you…but basically, she has this crazy idea in her head that she's worthless and that nobody could ever love her or want her. It's all psychological, at least that's what the school shrink said the last time she went."

"What are you talking about?"

"Before she went to boarding school with me we both went to a regular day school, but then her dad started becoming depressed because he couldn't live the life he always imagined because he had to take care of Nila. So one day he just dumped her at the boarding school and told her that he needed to focus on his dreams of being a photographer and he still loved her but he needed to do this for him. Anyway she was a mess and started saying how she was worthless and no one wanted her. Her mom didn't want her and her dad didn't. They sent her to the school shrink and she said that Nila had issues with loving herself which is why she had trouble believing in love and believing people loved her. She had never known love so she felt worthless. We thought she was over this because school started and she was becoming happier. But I guess after what that Embry guy did, she just feels even more worthless."

I listened as Molly explained to everyone my problems. If only they really knew what it felt like, what those three days felt like to me. Sometimes I knew I was being stupid and that people did love me, but it's so hard to believe that's true because I can't imagine why anyone would want me. I'm completely messed up.

"Poor Nila. She does know that we all love her very much right?"

"I honestly don't know. I think deep down she does but there is that part of her that makes her believe she's not loved or worth anyone's love at all."

I exhaled. I was tired of being like this. Of hearing people talk about me while I'm there. I mentally thanked Molly for explaining what I couldn't. From now on, I was going to be myself, and not think about Embry or anyone else at all. From now on it was going to be me, myself, and I. I needed to figure out how to love myself, so that I could let others love me, and then I could believe it.

"Thanks Molly." I said aloud, and I heard the sound of many heads turning to look at me.

"Niles, are you alright?" It was Jacob. I looked up at his face and he was visibly in anguish. I sighed knowing that I did that didn't make me feel any better.

"I'll be fine. Eventually. I just need to take my mind off of everything. It's not you guys; I just have some problems that I need to address eventually." I smiled timidly at them as I helped Molly too her feet.

"Ouch." Molly exclaimed as she let go of my hand.

"What?"

"You're hands are so hot."

I smiled a little. "Yea, seems as though I've been running a temperature lately, although I don't feel sick. Anyway…"

I turned to look at my friends and was shocked to see expressions of surprise on their face.

"What's wrong?"

Quil was the first to speak. "Oh, um nothing…we uh need to go but um…we're having a bonfire tonight on the beach. You and Molly should come."

I looked at Molly and smiled happily. A bonfire is just what I needed to take my mind off everything. I decided it would be the perfect place to talk to Embry: about everything. I couldn't be mad at him anymore. We needed to talk about why he did what he did, and I needed to tell him everything. I didn't want him being in a relationship with someone as messed up as me. I loved him enough to tell him and I loved him enough to let him go if he so desired. If he decided I really wasn't worth it…I could accept that and let him be happy with someone else. I needed to accept that, for everyone's sake.

"Sounds good. We'll see you guys there."

Molly and I turned and walked towards the road. I looked back to wave but I noticed they were all gone. _That was fast_.

Molly and I headed back to my house to rest up, gossip, and eat until later tonight when we'd meet up with everyone at the bonfire. In truth, I needed time to prepare myself for what I was going to talk to Embry about.

I wasn't mad anymore, but I was scared. Scared that he wouldn't want me after I tell him everything: my insecurities and my problems. God I hope he wants me, because if he didn't I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I don't know if I could survive another rejection.

**A/N: Okay so good? bad? horrible? i should never write again? I had trouble writing, i feel like i write in circles sometimes. Give me some feedback to help me out. Is the story too confusing? Do you all understand Nila's problems and stuff how she's damaged from her past? **

**Okay so the song for this chapter is:** _You Wouldn't Like Me by Tegan and Sara_  
**the song is perfect for what Nila is feeling right now. Especially these lyrics:**

_Well I can't stop talking for fear of listening to unwelcome sound  
And you haven't called me in weeks and honestly it's bringing me down  
I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me  
I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me_

**Okay so review please! Give me feedback and let me know! The next chapter should be up tomorrow because originally I was going to combine the chapters but then I felt it would be too long, and you'd get bored by the middle of the story and stop reading when the next chapter is going to be really good. Any guesses why?? Let's say Brett hasn't left for good! **

**Oh also! I'm sort of holding a competition for whoever can find pictures of Nila and Embry better than the ones on my profile because so far I haven't found anyone who looks like the way I describe them. Winner gets mentioned in my story as a new character? Maybe a little cameo at the bonfire? Sure, why not?! Thanks everyone! REVIEW!**


	7. I've Seen Love Die Way Too Many Times

**A/N: Yay for getting this chapter up somewhat quickly! Thanks to everyone for the fabulous reviews! I'm soooo glad people like it and are responding well! I'm so happy that people don't find the story confusing. **

**So in note: I'm going away this weekend, I'll be back Sunday so no updates until probably Monday or Tuesday. I won't have my laptop so I'll need time to type up my story. But to make up for it THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER YET! IT explains a whole lot!**

**Also the chapters of my story will probably a lyric or title of the song that is the "song of the chapter" that I put at the end of my stories!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer, but how I would love to be Jacob Black's imprint :) HEHE!**

**Okay on with the story...and sorry in advance for Brett the douchebag, but I felt like he was needed so that he could push my story where it needed to go. Okay on with it:**

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Molly and I had settled on arriving fashionably late to the bonfire. It was almost 7:30 and the bonfires usually start around 7.

Molly was really great letting me just talk and spill my feelings and she just listened. It was nice to get everything off my chest. I talked about my fears and how my mom and dad leaving made me feel. Ultimately she helped me come to the conclusion that maybe I am worth something, and that I should never doubt someone's love. I guess I was just going to accept love for what it was and however it came to me, because if Embry was making me happy, and my life here was going well then that's all I could ask for.

She drilled into my brain that I was worth something, and that no matter what anyone may do or say, she will always love me and I have people who will always love me, and that I matter to so many people. Needless to say we were both practically sobbing. Molly was basically my sister, and she was the best person I could ever have in my life. Not only do I now realize that I'm worth something, but I realize that life is going to throw many things at me and I should just accept them and realize that they're not my fault. People will do things that have nothing to do with me, and just because people leave it doesn't mean they don't love you.

Embry owed me and explanation, and I owed him one too. He needed to know about me and my past if we could have a future. And I desperately wanted a future with him.

Molly and I dressed in comfortable jeans and tee shirts as we headed to the bonfire. We heard everyone before we could actually see them. We noted Jared's boisterous laugh and Quil's attempts at mimicking Sam. Nothing could put a smile on my face like those boys laughing and joking around.

We walked towards them on the beach only to notice a strange silence settle over the group. They noticed I had arrived. I smiled timidly at them.

"I'm a lot better guys…don't worry." I tried to play it off as coolly as I could. Thankfully they all went back to their high spirits and didn't falter to include Molly and I in the conversation.

The one person I had been searching for and desperately hoping would be there was no where in sight. I sighed as I walked towards Quil and pulled him aside.

"Where is he?" I asked brusquely.

"He's coming later."

"When later?"

"He's not sure how to act around you Nila. He knows he did something wrong and he's trying to figure out how to apologize correctly. Just give it time; after all you weren't so keen on seeing him earlier."

I looked toward the ground in shame. He was right. I wasn't in the mood to see him earlier but I couldn't help it, I felt like a huge part of me was missing now and I desperately needed to be in his embrace.

"I'm sorry. There's just so much that he needs to know about me…all of you really and these past few days it all just came down on me like a hurricane. I'm sorry for everything…for telling you to go fuck yourself."

Quil chuckled at my apology. "You don't have to apologize Nila. We should be the ones apologizing for everything. There's a lot you need to know too, but Embry has to be the one to tell you. And don't worry about the fuck yourself thing…it's about time someone told me off." He chuckled at his statement and gave me a huge bear hug.

We both walked back towards the fire to see Tally and Molly talking about the latest gossip about Brangelina or some other famous couple. I could see that they were going to get along very well.

More people came over to the beach and the bonfire really got underway. We were all laughing and chatting mindlessly, listening to Emily tell stories about Sam that made him tense up because they were so humiliating.

I couldn't help but smile at the people around me. They were all so loving and caring in their own ways and they felt more like a family then I ever had. I was so beyond glad that I was here in this moment. I may have my doubts about my self worth, but after the talk with Molly and just being here in the simplicity of the night, it all feels right and comforting. We all loved each other like one big family. And I couldn't ask for anything better.

Kim was in the middle of a very entertaining and embarrassing story about Jared and Paul and a compromising position she caught them both in that could "easily be explained" as Jared felt to point out every five minutes when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Brett standing above me. I stood to glare at him directly in the eyes. Even though I had gotten taller, he still had about four inches on me.

"What are you doing here?" I noticed my arms starting to shake visibly, but I tried to hide them behind my back.

"I wanted to apologize before I left." He seemed sincere, but with Brett you never can tell.

"Oh. Go ahead." I motioned with my hands for him to apologize but he looked hesitantly behind me. I turned to see everyone staring intently at us. If I knew anything about Brett it's that he would swallow his pride in private. He wasn't going to man up in front of all these people he didn't even know.

"Can we...uh…go somewhere more private?" I nodded and started walking towards the part of the ground where forest met sand. He pulled me a little deeper into the forest then I would have liked but I wasn't going to say anything…especially if he was the one apologizing.

"So go ahead…we're in a more secluded area now."

He grabbed my hand in his and squeezed down on it. For some reason I got chills up my arm, but not good chills, more like run while you can chills.

"Nila, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I was wrong. You are so worth it. You're incredible and I guess I regret everything I never did with you…" WHAT? This conversation has clearly made a wrong turn.

"What are you saying Brett?"

He put my hand forcefully on his cheek when I tried to pull away. "What I'm saying Nila is that I regret never sleeping with you. I don't want the last memory I have of you being us fighting."

Oh no. I should always listen to my intuition.

"Brett?"

He leaned in closer to me and it was then that I smelt the apparent alcohol on his breath. Oh great…he was slightly tipsy and bigger than me and stronger than me. If only I screamed out, someone would definitely hear me and come running. I turned my head to the side only to realize that he dragged me further into the forest than I thought…I couldn't hear the conversation on the other side of the trees.

"Nila I want you so bad. And I'm finally going to have you." He leaned into me forcefully as my back pressed up against a tree.

Panic started to set in as Brett began moving his hands all over my body. I opened my mouth to scream but before I could he crushed his lips to mine and started kissing me roughly. His kisses were nothing like Embry's sweet and spicy and hot kisses…Brett kissed like a dog, it didn't help that he had consumed alcohol previously…that made it worse.

His lips trailed down to my neck and started kissing me and biting my neck. It hurt like a bitch, his teeth were breaking skin, and I noticed his hand move to my breast. I tried to push him off with as much force as I could but he wasn't budging. I opened my mouth to yell once more but he covered it with his hand and had anger in his eyes.

"Listen to me Nila…we can do this the hard way or the easy way. I don't want to be rough with you…well actually I do, but that's beside the point. I don't want to hurt you; I want this to be good. So you better give me what I want Nila, or else." His voice was dripping with as much venom as possible and his dark eyes boring into mine made my body quiver with fear.

"Brett, please don't do this." He had me pressed harder into the tree and I felt him rubbing up against me as his hot breath on my neck caused my hairs to stand on edge.

He grabbed me and pushed me to the ground, tearing my shirt on a loose branch. I was lying in the dirt and he placed himself over me, leaving slobbery kisses all over my face and neck. It was then that I noticed the moisture coming out of my eyes, and I realized I was crying in fear. Fear that this would happen and I wouldn't be able to stop him.

"You're so tempting Nila. God I want you so badly." He continued pressing himself into me and he slid his hand up my shirt as I tried to push him off me again. He still wouldn't budge, he was too heavy.

"Brett please get off me!" I yelled as loud as I could. Fighting to get him off me the tears started to roll faster down my face. I punched his chest and starting kicking and thrashing around to get him off me but it was no use.

"Brett stop! Please, stop!" Nothing. He wouldn't even listen to me, as his hands began trying to remove my shirt.

I continued to punch him and I hit him in the side of the neck when he stopped what he was doing and straddled me, grabbing my wrists and glaring at me.

"I told you this could be hard or easy. Stop moving BITCH!" He yelled and slapped me across the face. I whimpered in pain as I stopped thrashing, knowing that there was no use, he was going to do what he was going to do. I had no hope.

"SHUT UP!" He yelled at me, and I hadn't even realized I'd been yelling. He slapped me again and tore my shirt even more, exposing my abdomen.

He started kissing my stomach as I whispered "stop, please stop" repeatedly. The tears were coming like a river that had overflowed by now. I felt my body go numb…I couldn't handle this anymore, I was shutting down, closing myself off hoping that if I didn't feel it then it wouldn't hurt as much. I felt like I was betraying everyone by not being able to get him off me.

"Please stop Brett!" I said once more as he started massaging my breasts once again.

"Shut up you dumb bitch. Let me do this."

"No! HELP!" I dared to yell out as I felt his hands hit my face once more. This time he punched the side of my face and I thought I felt blood, but I wasn't sure. I laid their like a rag doll, praying for this to be over.

"Stop…please." I whispered in one last futile attempt but it didn't work. Brett continued to work his way up and down my body when I heard footsteps coming nearer.

I prayed and prayed someone would find me. "Brett stop!" I yelled, hoping the footsteps would walk this way.

"Dumb Whore. Shut up Bitch." And again I felt his hand make contact with my face.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER!" I heard a ferocious and vicious voice yell as I felt Brett being flung off me. I heard him land somewhere to my left but I felt like I couldn't even move. I heard more footsteps and saw Quil and Jared standing above me with shocked and panicked faces. Then bent to pick me up but I whimpered. I didn't mean to but I couldn't help it, I was so scared and I didn't know what to do.

I heard yelling and what I thought was Brett being punched in the face when I started going in and out of consciousness. The numbness my body had produced in defense had somehow made its way to my mind and I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. I heard more yelling and slamming against trees when my mind finally gave up and I fell into the dark abyss.

xxx

My arms felt like they weighed 100 pounds as I tried to move them and found I couldn't. I had a major headache and the left side of my face was extremely sore…it felt swollen. I moved my head a little and tried to open my eyes when I saw the light streaming through the blinds of an unfamiliar room.

"Ugh…" was all I could mutter. It felt like there were cement blocks holding me down.

"Nila? She's awake! Guys she's awake." I heard Seth call out and I wanted to smack him for being so loud.

"You're so loud Seth." I managed to open my eyes to see his confused face.

"I didn't yell, I whispered." He continued to look confused as I stared at him dumbfounded. I could swear he yelled to them, when all of a sudden I heard dozens of footsteps running into the room, much louder than they normally were.

"Nila? Nila!" I heard Embry's voice and I opened the eyes that I didn't realize I had closed again to see fear and anguish written all over his face. If I didn't know any better, from the looks of his red eyes I would say he was crying before.

"Embry," was all I could muster. I tried to lift my arm again but it just felt so heavy.

"Don't try to move baby. You're probably really sore right now, just lay and rest." I nodded my head and dozed off to sleep again. I was so tired all of a sudden, but I couldn't resist the urge to stick my hand out and search for his. I caught his sweltering hand in mine and clutched it with all my might, silently telling him to never let go again.

xxx

"I'm going to kill him. Book me a flight…no better yet, let me run and then he'll see what he messed with." I heard a fierce voice speak with so much venom that it sent shivers down my back.

"I'll go too."

"Me too."

There was chatter for a moment and murmurs of beating his brains out when the room was silenced by Sam.

"Enough. No one is going anywhere…you already did enough damage."

"Enough damage? That bastard was going to rape her. He touched my...he touched her, he put his filthy hands on her and you're telling me I did enough damage? What about Nila. Now she'll have to carry this memory forever too. Are you stupid Sam? He was going to RAPE HER!" A voice that I wouldn't have mistaken anywhere yelled with such ferocity that I wouldn't be surprised if he even scared Sam.

"Quil take him outside." I heard the hustle and bustle and before I could let him get outside I yelled for him.

"Embry." I yelled again a second time. Hoping that he would hear me. I heard someone sprint into the room and felt someone grab my hand.

I opened my eyes to see his face filled with rage, which suddenly changed to admiration and panic. His face was scrunched in such a sad way that I never wanted to see his face like that again.

"You shouldn't scrunch your face like that; it'll stick that way forever." I said trying to lighten up his dark mood.

He chuckled darkly. "Oh Nila. I'm so sorry baby, I'm so so sorry." He looked at me and I managed to sit up so that he could take a seat next to me on the couch.

Embry sat and I leaned into him, inhaling his woodsy scent that I had missed more than I actually knew.

"Nila, I'm so sorry. For everything, for leaving so suddenly and then not being there early last night. If I was there none of this would have happened, I'm so so sorry. Baby, please forgive me, although I don't see how you ever could. I'm a horrible person for doing what I did to you and I'll understand if you never want to see me again." He motioned to get up off the couch after his speedy rant but I whimpered and pulled him closer to me.

"Don't you ever think of leaving me again. Nothing that happened last night was your fault. I was stupid and wanted to see that he was actually apologizing and then I couldn't push him off I felt so ashamed Embry, I thought that if he actually raped me last night you wouldn't ever want to look at me again. I was so ashamed, I'm still so ashamed, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't stronger than him." I had tears running down my face now as I felt Embry tense under my grip and he looked at me with anger in his eyes.

I coward back involuntarily, his look reminded me of Brett's eyes, although Brett's eyes could never have the same emotion or adoration that Embry's could. Ever.

"Nila look at me." I looked up at him and his eyes changed from anger to shame.

"Don't you ever think for one minute any part of what that sick bastard did was your fault. Don't ever feel ashamed for something that you couldn't control. He's so lucky I didn't kill him right then and there last night Nila. Seeing you lying there motionless, stunned into numbness practically killed me. I was so scared that I had lost you, that he had done something to you. Then I saw your face and it was bleeding and I realized he had hurt you more than he already had and I snapped right there. Lucky for him, Brett ran off before I could even turn around, but I was so incredibly angry and scared at the same time. Don't you dare blame any of this on you, you were trying to be a good person and give him a chance when he turned on you. I'm so sorry my angel for everything that happened." I felt moisture drop onto my arms and I looked up to see that Embry was crying, he had so much inner turmoil for what I did to him, it literally was hurting me to see him like this.

"It's my entire fault, please don't cry." I started to wipe away his tears when he grabbed my hands and he placed them against his cheeks and closed his eyes, leaning into them gently. He opened his eyes and I was blown away by the passion and love I saw in his eyes. My knees were going weak and I felt my heart start beating double time.

"Nothing was your fault. Believe that Nila. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there. I love you so much and I don't know what I would have done if I lost you. You're my life and I can't live without you. I'm so sorry for all of the pain I've caused you these past few days. I love you more than life itself Nila Hollis and I want you to be mine forever. I'm so sorry."

I felt moisture drip out of my eyes and he reached up to wipe away my tears. "Embry, there's so much I need to tell you, so much you need to know."

"It doesn't have to be now Nila. I just want you to rest and get better. I want you to take your time telling me. I'll always be here for you…I have all the time in the world for you. I'm not going anywhere." I smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him gently.

I missed the feeling of his lips on mine and he pulled away sooner then I would have liked but I realized he thought I needed time and space before getting into physical actions again. I understood and was grateful for him being so considerate.

"I love you Embry Call. I will always love you. I want to put everything that's happened behind us and start new…not completely new because we had some amazing times before those bumps in the road…but I want to be with you mind body and soul Embry. I love you more than you could possibly know. Thank you for everything you've done. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I want everything to be right."

He nodded at me and kissed me on the forehead. I leaned into him with my head on his lap and he began to stroke my hair. It was a nice feeling, sitting there with the one who had my heart.

I wasn't mad at what happened last night, well I was, but I realized what Molly and I had talked about the night before…in order for me to move on with my life I had to push my past behind me and take steps into the future. I wanted my future with Embry to be bright and beautiful and in order for that to happen I needed to push last night's events to the back of my mind.

Tomorrow I would talk to him about everything. My past and how he needed to know. Because I can't move forward unless we are both able to put my past behind me…not just me. It would be hard, but I needed to do it. I needed to start letting Embry into my mind so that he could be the one to mend the heart that I didn't realize was broken. The heart my parents had broken so long ago.

xxx

The next few days past by in hast. People were constantly asking if I was alright and if I needed anything at all. I politely told them I was fine and that I didn't need anything. Having Embry was all I needed.

I wouldn't let him go after the morning after the events. I told him he had to be touching me at all times – not in a kinky way, but I had forgotten what his touch felt like and I needed him desperately.

Molly and Tally got along so well that they had been hanging out while I spent time with Embry. Bless their hearts for knowing exactly what I needed.

It's been three days since that ass Brett tried to do that thing to me and I was feeling better than ever. I had put that behind me and realized that Brett was a stupid, dumb, asshole. He was the scum of the earth and I shouldn't be bothered to even think about him. Embry spent most nights at my house, sleeping on the couch since Molly and I occupied the room, but it felt good having him there. It felt safe.

We had woken up this morning and gotten a bite to eat before he decided to take me on a walk towards Third Beach. It was one of my favorites because of its seclusion and hidden beauty.

"So," Embry said as he sat down on the ground. "I brought you here because I wanted to tell you some things. Things that you need to know about me."

I nodded as I took a seat next to him. I turned to face him. "First Embry, I need to tell you some things."

He looked at me and nodded. I grabbed his hand in mine and began to trace the outline of the lines on his palm.

"I want to explain why I reacted the way I did when you came to my house and I wouldn't open my door. Just listen okay?" He looked into my eyes and nodded once more.

I paused while trying to gather my thoughts. I needed to tell him, and I needed for him to understand. I was just trying to put it all together so that it would make sense.

"Okay well I guess I'll start from the beginning. My mom and dad fell in love at a very young age…or so they said. I don't actually know if they were in love, but what I do know is that they dated for a year when my mom found out she was pregnant with me. She was eighteen and had been accepted to Oregon State to pursue degree geology. Unfortunately she never got to go to the school because she was pregnant with me. So her and my dad decided they would raise the child. My father gave up his scholarship at a university to help raise me. It was the right and honorable thing to do." I paused for a moment, not wanting the tears to spill out so quickly. I needed to compose myself.

"So they had me and everything seemed to be going fine. But they fought a lot. They weren't meant to be together, that was obvious. My mother had settled for a job as a receptionist and my father worked in a bar while doing photography on the side. Not an ideal life for either of them. So then when I was two, my mother packed all of her things and gave me a hug telling me that it wasn't me but she had to leave for herself. She didn't want to be stuck here anymore living a life she didn't choose. I was a mistake, an accident and I wasn't expected. I was the new path that she had to take in life, and by leaving me and my father behind she could go back to her old path. My mother left and I never heard from her again. Frankly I don't want to; I don't know what I would say to her. I'd probably punch her out actually.

"Anyway, I lived here with my dad and my grandpa until I was ten. My dad asked me if I loved him, and of course I said yes. Then he told me that he needed me to do something with him. He asked me to move with him to Los Angeles where he was sure his photography could finally take off. He had saved enough money from working late shifts at the bar and selling his paintings that we could afford to live in a decent apartment. Time went on in L.A. and he was selling more and more pictures and was traveling more and more. I had a nanny that lived with us, taking care of me when my dad was away. When I was thirteen he dropped me off at a boarding school telling me that it was better this way. I wouldn't have to worry about anything except school and he wouldn't have to worry about me. His photography was his new love and I was a burden again. I was upset and for the longest time I believe that I was worthless and that no one wanted me. The school sent me to their resident shrink who told me that I had to learn to love myself and that my feelings of worthlessness come from a vacant home life and parental guidance. Neither one of my parents had ever told me they loved me." I paused again to wipe the tears from my eyes. I was looking anywhere but at Embry because I couldn't bear to look into his eyes. I knew if I did, I would break down completely because he loved me so much more then I could ever imagine. More than I thought I deserved but I wasn't going to question that anymore.

"So time went on and I would get one call every month at the most from my father who was living it up, having the time of his life traveling and taking pictures. Even though I felt worthless and betrayed and damaged I was happy for him. He did raise me even though I wasn't wanted. Then I was in French class when I was called down to the office only to hear that my father had died in a plane crash somewhere near Thailand. I went numb knowing that I would never ever be able to try and win my father's love. I wasn't sad that he was gone, because he was hardly around. I was sad that my last attempt at love was gone. So then I moved here and you pretty much know how that goes. I didn't believe in love Embry, not until I met you. Until you love was fictional and just a nice thought by romantics, I didn't believe it existed because I had never known love. So when you told me you loved me, I knew that I loved you too because of the way you made me feel. I felt like I couldn't be without you and I would do anything to protect you and make you happy. I knew that was love. Then later that day you just disappeared and I didn't hear from you until days later. I felt worthless again, like I was another burden and not wanted. Like you had questioned your feelings for me for some reason and decided I wasn't good enough for you. I was so unhappy, I felt like I was a burden on the world. I felt like I was drowning in worthlessness. It was killing me inside because I love you so much and I didn't want to deal with the fact that you might not love me. So I'm sorry for acting the way I did, but I felt like you needed to know where I am coming from. It took a lot for me to let you in and tell you I love you, but I had my guard up. I'm ready to let them down completely now, I'm ready to let you in all the way. I love you Embry Call so much and nothing is going to change that."

I let the tears fall over my face. I finally looked up at Embry who also had tears in his eyes. He was letting them fall over his perfect face and I wanted so desperately to take his tears and pain away wishing he never had to be sad again. _Angels shouldn't cry_, I thought to myself. Because that's what Embry was my angel; the angel who saved me.

He pulled me into his embrace and whispered comforting things into my ear. He told me he was sorry and how he didn't know and would never hurt me as long as he lived. He told me how much he loved me and how he would never let me go. Ever.

We stayed like that for a while until our tears dried up and the sun was reaching high noon. It was still early in the day, and I already was bushed from spilling my guys emotionally. However, I did notice that I felt lighter, like a huge weight had been taken off my chest. It felt good, really good.

"So Niles…" he said in a more serious, but still lighthearted tone.

"Yes Embry?"

"Can I tell you some things about me?" I nodded my head and motioned for him to continue. He paused and kissed my lips quickly and looked into my eyes.

"It's something important that you desperately need to know. What I'm about to tell you is about me and all of my friends, Tally and Sam included." I sat there looking into his eyes, silently wondering what could be so big as to include all of them.

"Okay, tell me…wait is this the thing everyone's been hiding from me?" I questioned because of a sudden suspicion that came over me.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm going to tell you about. Just promise me you'll listen while I talk and you won't get freaked out."

_Weird_, I thought, _why would he think I'd get freaked out_? He should know that nothing he could do or say would take me away from him again.

"I promise to listen and that I won't get freaked out." I said as honestly and earnestly as I could.

He grew quiet for a moment and his eyes looked as if they were somewhere else in time. I didn't know how long we sat in silence before he looked at me with all seriousness in his face.

"Nila, do you know the old tribe legends?"

**A/N: Cliffhanger? Sort of? I know I'm cruel and some of you probably want to punch me after this chapter but I'm sorry it all needed to happen in order to A) strenthen their relationship and B) give Nila the push she needed to start a new slate in her life and forget her "tragic?" past. **

**There were many options for songs for this chapter and so basically I found TWO that would fit. I know I'm awesome! Okay so here they are:** _All Will Be Forgotten by Holly Brook _and _Emergency by Paramore_

**Did you like this chapter? Did you follow this chapter? Did you love this chapter? Review and let me know! I want to thank all the loyal reivewers and readers, and to the ghost readers whom I do not hear reviews from I want to thank you for even reading my story! Love you all! Review please :) **


	8. Do You Ever Take A Chance, My Love?

**A.N: So I want to thank everyone for the reviews! You guys are awesome!! I'm glad people are liking this story, it's truly awesome to write. A couple of things:**

**How many of you will continue to read this story after BD comes out? I know I'll keep writing, fanfiction is pretty much an obsession now. I know I won't post until after I've read BD at least twice, but after that I'll be back in full force...regardless if Embry ends up imprinting in it or not.**

**Second, Sorry this chapter's a bit short, but it sort of goes with the next chapter, I just didn't want to make them together...do any of you want a Lemon with Embry and Nila next chapter, or should I change the rating back to T and just elude to the fact that they may or may not be having sex in the next chapter...thanks!**

**OH and I"M SOOOOOOO EXCITED! I'm seeing STEPHENIE MEYER tomorrow on GOOD MORNING AMERICA! I'll be in the audience! I"M SOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED! So yay for me. **

**Song of the Chapter:** _Everything's Magic by Angels and Airwaves_

**Okay on with this chapter: **

* * *

I sat looking at Embry's serious face wondering if this whole thing was a joke or not. The big thing he wanted to reveal to me had to do with the tribe legends?

"Of course. Why?" I hesitantly asked.

"So then you're familiar with the stories of the members of the tribe turning into wolves in order to protect our people from the cold ones?"

I nodded my head. Where was he going with this?

"Good, because there's something you need to know about the legends."

"Okay, what do I need to know?"

"They're real."

As soon as the words left his mouth I couldn't help it. I cracked up laughing. This was definitely a joke…Quil probably put him up to it or something.

"That's a good one Embry…really; you should go to Vegas with that material." I looked into his eyes to see that there was no trace of hilarity at all. In fact, his eyes were as serious as Batman.

"No…no…there is no possible way. Embry you're crazy. No, the legends can't be real. Then that'd mean there are werewolves wandering around our reservation and vampires lurking in the shadows. No, absolutely not…I don't believe you."

He sighed and looked towards the water. Sadness took over his face and immediately my heart began to hurt. I hated when he was sad.

Something about this made sense though…the secrecy, the close knit group, those weird conversations between Grandpa and Embry. I guess I knew in my heart he was telling the truth but I didn't want to believe it…because if what he said was true, then it was only a matter of time before I was subjected to the same hand fate had dealt him.

"You're serious?" I asked skeptically.

"As serious as I've ever been." He looked towards me to gage my reaction.

"Why did this happen? How?"

"It's because of those _bloodsuckers_…ever since they came here they set the whole gene in motion again, it skipped two generations, and found us because some _leeches _lived here a year ago, they just left. That should have stopped the gene from striking again, but it looks like some new _parasites_ are coming into town, which is explanation enough for why you're starting to change."

"So you're a….and I'm a…so we're…."

"Werewolves."

The word in itself made me shutter. This wasn't possible, I didn't want to be a were- wolf. But there apparently was nothing I could do. Suddenly all of the stories my Grandfather had told me as a child about the wolves in the forest, and these cold ones were true. The story about the treaty made years ago, it was all true…everything. I wasn't surprised, but somehow I felt calm, like I knew somewhere deep down that these stories were always true, and it was just a matter of time before someone confirmed my suspicions.

"Okay." I replied. There was nothing else to say. I had to accept this, that this wasn't my fault. It was just another card dealt to me.

"You…you're okay with this?" Embry was hesitant, not sure if or when I'd freak out.

"I have to be…there's nothing I can do about it. This just another card I've been dealt, and I have to deal with it. Freaking out and getting angry won't change my heritage and the fact that I'm going to be turning into a wolf. I need to just accept it and move on." I smiled timidly, trying to show him that I truly was okay with the fact that I would be a wolf, even if I was nervous and skeptical too.

He spent the next hour detailing the transformation and all of the benefits of being a werewolf. Embry told me about the changes in our body, and temperature, and how when we transform we can hear everyone's thoughts and see images they're thinking. To be honest that freaked me out a lot…I didn't want Embry or anyone inside my head, hearing what I'm thinking. I mean it could get really embarrassing really fast.

"So, the er…mind connection thing. Does that ever get embarrassing?"

Embry laughed a bit and smiled at some private joke. "Absolutely, we can't help what we think; it's just that much more awkward when you can see what Jared and Kim did the night before and things of that nature. Basically it's every naughty thing you've done or thought out in the open for everyone to see and hear. Embarrassing doesn't begin to cover it, but there's really nothing you can do about it I guess. Whatever happens happens."

He smiled at me and pulled me in close to him. We sat there together watching the sun over the ocean contemplating the changes that were bound to happen in the near future. I was thoroughly scared of what would be happening to me, but I figured that as long as I had Embry and we were in it together then we would be okay.

"There's something else I need to tell you about. Something that happens to werewolves…"

The way he said this made my body tense up and freeze. Internally I was freaking out; he sounded nervous and scared at the same time.

"Okay…"

"There's this thing called imprinting. It happens after you've phased for the first time. At first we thought it wasn't common but Sam imprinted on Emily, then Jared on Kim, then Paul on Tally and so we realized it's more common then we thought. Anyway, imprinting is like love at first sight, only much stronger. It's like before you phased you were being held to the earth by gravity, but after that phase and the first time you laid your eyes on them, it's like the world no longer holds you here but she does. And you'll do anything to protect her and keep her happy and safe. You'll be whatever she needs…friend, brother, lover, protector. She's your soul mate and you're hers; you were made for each other."

_Where was he going with this? Had he imprinted on some other girl and that was part of his three day disappearance? Was he breaking up with me? Did he imprint on someone at the bonfire last night?_ My mind was going crazy with thoughts of different scenarios and possibilities.

"So is she pretty?"

"Who?"

"The girl you imprinted on."

"Much more then pretty. She's exquisitely beautiful…no words could describe her beauty."

My heart shuddered at the thought of Embry being with anyone else other than me. I was trying to fight back the moisture that had accumulated in my eyes.

"Oh. That's good then. Well I'm sure you two will be very happy together." I tried to be as dismissive and casual and calm about the situation as possible.

I felt Embry tense next to me. "What are you talking about Nila?"

"You and the girl you imprinted on. When did you imprint by the way? Recently? Is that what you're telling me this, because you're breaking up with me?" That was the only logical explanation…he was breaking up with me and found someone better, someone who didn't have as many problems as I did…he was throwing me away. Why else would he tell me about imprinting?

"I imprinted on this amazing girl about a month ago. Actually the date was June 15 at exactly 6:17 p.m."

"June 15 is the day I moved here…"

"I know that Nila."

"So you've been playing with my heart this whole time?"

"You are absurd sometimes…do you know that? I imprinted on _you_ Nila. You. Not some other girl. I imprinted on you, the most amazing and beautiful woman I've ever met in my life. You're all I need forever Nila. You're it for me. I'm so helplessly and utterly in love with you that sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode because I love you more than you could possibly know."

I sniffled, wiping the tears from my cheeks. He _imprinted_ on me. Embry imprinted on _me_. _He_ imprinted on me. I was floating…life couldn't be this incredible. How did I become the luckiest girl in the world?

I guess I still had some insecurity issues to deal with. How absurd to think that Embry wanted some other girl when he time and time again has told me how much he loved me. Being loved unconditionally was going to take some getting used to, but I figured I was up for the challenge.

"I love you Embry," was all I could manage to say. I felt like no other sentences or words could come close to describe how I was feeling at that exact moment.

"I love you too Nila. More than you could ever know." He responded. Embry pulled me into his arms and lay back on the ground watching the sun being to set. We spent the whole day on third beach being together and talking…and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

xxx

I spent the next two days hanging around with Molly and Embry, just enjoying each others company. We went to the beach a lot and even drove into Port Angeles for the day. It was awesome, but like all good things, it came to and end. Molly got a call from her dad saying that her older brother was coming home for a week and he thought she should be there to see him…so that's how I found myself hugging Molly at the security gate of the airport, three days before she was originally scheduled to leave.

"I'll call you as soon as my flight gets in? I love you so much Niles, best friends forever." Molly whispered in my ear. I felt her tears soaking onto my shirt but it didn't bother me – my tears were doing the same thing to hers.

"Of course. Love you Molls. I'll see you sooner then you think." She pulled away and smiled at me before heading past security on her way back to her normal life.

Luckily for me, Embry came to see Molly off as well. He figured I might need a shoulder to lean on. He knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

"You okay?" He asked as he held my hand in his.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I will be."

Embry smiled and nudged me to begin walking back towards my car. He decided to drive back, letting me get lost in my own thoughts on the way home.

"So, what do you feel like doing today?" I asked him casually as we pulled into my drive way.

"Well…" he had a mischievous look on his face – nothing good has ever come from that look.

"Well what?"

"It's a beautiful day and there's not a cloud in the sky…Quil called earlier…their all going down to First Beach to go cliff diving."

"Hell no." I shouted as I got out of the car and headed towards the house.

"Why not?" Embry followed me like a puppy into the kitchen where I proceeded to make us both breakfast.

"Because, you know that I don't go in the ocean. And I will never, ever in a million years jump off a cliff."

"I didn't say you had to jump. I'll be the one jumping. You can watch."

"And freak out every five seconds about you hitting a rock on the way down? I don't think so." By this point I had the eggs already cooking in the pan as I pushed the bread into the toaster.

"Baby, I've cliff dived a billion times before. I've never ever hit a rock on the way down. It's safe. I promise. Just come and watch and you'll see you have nothing to be afraid of." The sincere look in his eyes made my heart flutter. I sighed, giving in to his demands as I nodded my head.

Embry shouted in joy as he picked me up and spun me around the room like I weighed two pounds. "You're lucky I love you." I mumbled into his chest as I gave him a hug.

"I'm very lucky indeed." He replied as he bent down to give me a chaste kiss on the lips.

Lately he'd been so cautious with our physical relationship, thinking I was too scared to do anything at all. Little did he know that what happened with Brett has no effect on my relationship with him at all. Brett is a completely different person, and I don't regard them in the same way. As a matter of fact, I've been getting quite impatient at how slow our relationship was moving. I knew for a fact that I wanted Embry to be the one I gave my virginity too, and I was more then ready to give it. I loved him so much more then I could possibly say, and I wanted him to have all of me: mind, body, and soul. All we needed was to be together physically for him to have it all.

I wanted Embry Call…and I wanted him bad.

xxx

Two hours later I found myself staring down into the dark waters of the Pacific Ocean. Embry had already jumped off the cliff once, followed by his other crazy werewolf pals. Although I was beginning to think I should include myself in the werewolf category, because sooner or later, I'd be making my transformation as well.

"How much would you pay me to push Nila off the cliff?" I heard Jared ask Paul. His footsteps were getting closer, and before he could put his hand on me I side stepped him and watched as Jared nearly fell off the cliff himself.

"Do not mess with me Jared." I glared at him.

"I was just messing around Nila. Besides, it's just a little water."

"Yea, a little water that could kill you. Water is like the most powerful thing on the planet." I tried arguing my point.

"Actually, I think werewolves are…but water could probably come close." He smirked at me, trying to lighten the mood.

"Whatever I'm still not jumping."

I paced back and forth near the edge of the cliff as everyone took their turns jumping off. There was a great part of me that longed to jump, to feel the rush of adrenaline as gravity pulled you towards the underlying waters. I wanted to so badly, but I was scared; scared that if I jumped into the water I wouldn't surface. I'd get lost in the darkness of the ocean.

I was still so traumatized by almost drowning all those years ago that I still couldn't get over my fear of the ocean. Sure, it was pretty to look at, but going in it – absolutely not!

"Niles, sooner or later you're going to have to go in the ocean." Embry said as he slide his semi-wet arms around my waist.

"Will not."

"Will too." He said playfully, as he began to tickle me.

I was giggling so hard that I had trouble breathing. "Embry…stop…please." We were both leaned up against the rocks, laughing in each others arms.

"Fine, you win. I'll stop. But only if you jump with me." He pouted his ever sexy lips at me, and for a minute I felt myself surrender to him, but I quickly regained composure.

"No."

"Come on Nila! Please!"

"No…Embry you know that I don't like the ocean. I'm scared of jumping into something so dangerous."

"It's so freeing though, jumping off the cliff into the unknown. Nila, you have to jump."

"No!" I was starting to get a little angry at the fact that he kept on pushing me to jump. "I'm too scared Embry…I don't want to jump into something I know can hurt me."

Embry sighed and grabbed my hands in his. "You can't be scared forever Nila. Sometimes you just have to step off the cliff and put your faith in something, anything. Because never knowing what something feels like, is worse then knowing and getting hurt. Don't be afraid to jump, because you're scared to fly. You have to be willing to face your fears. I'm here, right beside you, forever whether you like it or not, and one of these days Nils, mark my words, you will jump off this cliff. Whether it's today or fifty years from now, you will know what it's like to jump, and you'll know what it feels like to finally be free."

I looked into his eyes, they were so full of love and adoration that I couldn't help but contemplate his words. Maybe he is right – maybe it's not about the water at all. It's about me needing to put the past in the past and start over. Jumping off this cliff was symbolic for showing him that I trusted him forever, and that I needed him by my side always.

I needed Embry fully. And if jumping off this cliff would help me finally break that last barrier down…then jump I would.

I made my way closer to the edge of the cliff. "Nila…what are you doing?"

I grabbed Embry's hand as I walked back a little, so I could get a running start. "You jump, I jump Jack." I said as I began running with Embry close behind me.

My feet pushed me off the cliff, and I was flying. Flying into the unknown. Flying into my future.

**A/N:** **Did you like it? YEs? NO? Remember what I asked about the rating...let me know.**

**Also, if anyone finds pictures of Nila or Embry you get a special prize in an upcoming chapter! I'll add you as a cameo roll! HAHA! SO PLEASE SEARCH! **

**Review Review Review! Love yous!**


	9. Authors Note: I suck

Authors Note:

**Authors Note: **

**Hey everyone…sorry this isn't an update but I have something to discuss with you all.**

**It seems I've been losing momentum for this story, I sort of went somewhere where now looking back I wish I hadn't gone. Ultimately I don't want Nila to be a werewolf, after consideration and for the most part, I feel like I can't go on with the story.**

**Honestly, I feel like my story is really confusing and that I write in circles sometimes, making it hard to understand. I set myself up for that I guess by having Nila have so many issues. It was stupid of me. **

**Want I want to propose is this: **

**I have another idea for an imprint story – with Paul. It wouldn't be a Tally imprint story, but a completely new character. I had a "vision" for this story, and I feel like it would be a lot better than Somewhere Between the Moon and You. Although I do love this story, I'm losing momentum…I will try my best to finish it up, Nila's transformation and everything, but ultimately I don't know how often or frequent the updates will be.**

**Basically, let me know if you would be interested in reading a new imprint story that I promise will be a lot better than this one. **

**The only thing: I'm starting school tomorrow and I have all my college apps to do and what not, so I'll try my best to update once a week, maybe twice. All depending on if you guys actually want this story.**

**Let me know in a review please! Your opinion is valued and appreciated. Thanks so much for reading my work, even if I'm a pain in the butt because I lost momentum on this one. Please please please let me know what you're thinking, and what your thoughts are.**

**Ciao**,

_J _


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